


All the Gold in Erebor

by EmeraldJaded



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: AU, F/M, Hobbit, M/M, More characters as they appear, Tortured Kili, movie verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:29:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldJaded/pseuds/EmeraldJaded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Goblin Town, things go wrong for Kili...and he pays the price for being an archer.  (Sorry, I suck at summaries)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too Much To Bear

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Tolkien. I'm just borrowing them to mess with their precious little minds! Some dialogue taken from the movie. Any original characters in the story coming up were named by my dear sister, Lexi. She rocks with dwarf and elf names! Heck, she just rocks!  
> Author's Notes: Please mind that there are some graphic displays of violence. My muse is a little twisted. I blame her! Angst and feels coming!

                Kili stared at the Goblin King, not daring look for his brother and uncle.  He didn't want to give anything away that might get them hurt.  That was one thing that Thorin had taught them that if you never let your enemy know who you were closest to as they would use them to hurt you.  He couldn't get his mind off the hidiousness of the Goblin King and whatever it was that was hanging down from his chin made him want to vomit.  The words of the hideous creature passed by him as he felt his uncle’s hand squeeze his arm.

                "Start with the youngest!" He heard the Goblin King say as he pointed to Ori.

 _I have to protect him,_ Kili thought, _just as Fili always protected me.  I will not let that thing touch my young friend._

                “WAIT,” Thorin bellowed having had the same thought as Kili on protecting Ori.  He had moved in front of the group as Kili pulled the youngest behind him, hoping that he would be safer and out of sight and mind of the Goblin King.

                “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror!  So called King under the mountain.  Search them!  Take their weapons!”  He had watched his subjects gleefully strip the dwarves of their armor when Hilgraf quietly told him of something he noticed in the holding cell.  “Is that so?  I know this shall be so much fun to exploit!  Bring that one to my special dungeon,” he ordered softly to Hilgraf, but as he finished the order so that the others could hear, “the rest of the dwarves can be taken to the dungeon till they’re ready to squawk!”

                The dwarves all huddled around Ori at this point, but none had expected that the young prince would be the one taken.  Kili fought with all his strength as he saw the others trying to fight their way to him.  The last thing he heard before being knocked unconscious was his brother calling out his name.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Kili awoke with a start as a bucket of freezing cold water was dumped over his body.  Trembling, he glanced around for any sight of the others, but only saw the Goblin King and another holding a tray with what looked like long metal ice picks and a mallet on it.  He’d heard rumors of what the Goblins did to archers.  As the realization settled in that this is what they were truly going to do to him, he struggled against the bonds that kept him on the table.  He felt the skin starting to tear around the wrist shackles the more he struggled.

                “Ah good, the archer is awake!  You won’t be able to escape from those bonds.  I had them designed specifically for those like you,” the Goblin King cackled as he watched the pain run across the brown haired dwarf.  Leaning over, he ran a finger through the blood that now dripped down the boy’s hand.  “The more you squirm, the more it’ll tear the skin off your arms.  Now, tell me what is a group of dwarves doing in my kingdom?”

                Kili only glared at the hideous creature, he would not betray their mission.  After what seemed to be an eternity, the Goblin King picked up one of spikes and mallet, poising it over the young man’s arm.

                “If you don’t tell me, you’ll never be able to hold a bow again, archer.” 

                “I will **never** betray them!”  Kili knew that eventually everyone broke, but he hoped that the others would be able to rescue him before that happened.  Either rescued or he forfeited his life.  A blood curdling scream ripped through his throat as the first of the spikes was driven into his forearm.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Thorin glanced over as Dwalin tested the strength of the cell doors once more.  Frustrated that they didn’t seem to even want to budge, he went back to his search of finding a weak spot in the cell walls to get them out.  He’d left Fili talking to Balin and Gloin about strategies in getting them out and finding Kili.

                _Such a pity we took Nori’s lockpick tools away before we left Ered Luin,_ Thorin thought…never thinking that he would.  _Maybe we could find something…_

                His thoughts broke off as Kili’s screams echoed around their cell.  He started barking out the orders to the others in Khuzdul while he strode to his eldest nephew.  “Find anything that can be used to get that blasted door open!  We have no time to waste!  Fili,” he took the blond’s face in his hands and looked directly into his eyes.  Worry and rage flashing in his, almost reassured him.  “I promise you that we’ll get him out alive.  Right now I need you to use those tracking skills of yours to figure out what direction those screams are coming from.”

                Fili nodded and bit back his fears of what his little brother was going through.  _Hang on Kili, we’re coming for you_ , was the only thought he gave before kneeling down to focus on where the tortured screams were coming from.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Bilbo awoke in the dark corner after he'd passed out from the sight before him.  The rivulets of blood from the five spikes in Kili's arm had been too much for his small Hobbit brain to accept.  The screams, he knew, would haunt him till the day he died.  He had to wonder how long he'd actually been unconcious as he looked on at the Dwarf that had quickly become a good friend.  Where once had only been five spikes in the arm, there were now twelve.  His now naked form sat limply on the floor, his back to the burglar, by bleeding wrists showing a body covered in gashes, brusies, and blood flowing freely from all.  A green slimy liquid dripped from a bucket poised over his head onto the open whip marks on his back, causing his body to twitch.  The only sound in the cell was a small whimpered phrase, in what Bilbo could only assume was his native tongue, repeated over and over again. 

 _Could that one phrase be keeping him sane?_ Bilbo thought as his anger for the Goblins rose.

                "I think it's time to show the rest of his company what happens to trespassers, but first," the Goblin King chortled as he picked up a red hot branding iron. 

                Bilbo bit his tongue to keep from yelling and prayed he could find Gandalf to get Kili out.  He watched as the king pressed the iron into the brunet's back and one last screamed escaped from his lips as the body seemed to collapse.

                "Hilgraf!  Prepare the prisoner to rejoin his comrades!  Make sure he is fully awake and in a little more pain!" The king instructed the guard as he headed back to his throne room to torment the other Dwarves. 

                Bilbo snuck back out of the cell from the hole in the wall he'd found after following Gollum with his new mysterious ring.  He looked back real quick to see the shackles being removed from the unconious boy's wrists and his body fall to the ground.  Swearing to himself, he promised to find Gandalf or the others and get them to help get him out.

                For once on this cursed trip, luck was on his side.  He turned the corner and ran straight into the grey wizard.  Slipping the ring off his finger and back into his pocket, he quickly barked out an order.  There was no time for delaying.

                "Follow me!  We must get Kili out before they do more damage to him!  I'll explain everything later, but we must hurry!"

                Gandalf only nodded as he followed the halfling down the long dank hall.  The sight that greeted his eyes as they stepped back into the cell had the usually calm wizard fly into a fit of pure unadulterated rage!

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Thorin felt an ever growing problem in keeping himself calm as he and his company stood in front of the Goblin King once again.  He’d spotted their weapons close by to where Dwalin had positioned himself.  Now for the right moment to put their plan into action.  If things worked the way he suspected, Kili would be brought out soon to teach the company a "lesson".  At that time, they would attack.  The exiled king only hoped it wasn't too late for his nephew as the last few hours had been deathly quiet.

                "So, tell me, what brings the mighty Thorin to my kingdom?"  Oh, how he was going to enjoy tormenting the dwarf.  Almost as much fun as torturing the archer.  "Wait...it appears you are missing someone, aren't you?"  The smile on his face was only made bigger by the pure rage in Thorin's eyes.  This was exactly the reaction he'd wanted from his prisoners.

                "The lad was so strong till the end.  Such a pity that he'll never be able to use his arms again.  Just what this world needs, one less cursed archer!  Perhaps, I should be nice and put him out of his misery.  Would you like to watch that?"

                Thorin had had it with the Goblin King!  As he watched him motion for Kili to be brought in, Thorin motioned to Dwalin that it was almost time and to get their weapons.  The whole bloody race would pay for what happened to Kili!  This was a vow he made to himself and his family.

                "What do you mean he's missing and Hilgraf is dead????"  The Goblin King raged as the news of his son's death reached his ears.

                Thorin couldn't help but smirk at that news and now was ready to exact his own revenge.  _At'a boy Kili, at'a boy!_   None of the Goblins even noticed that the prisoners were passing their weapons back out as their king raged.

                "KILL THEM!  I WANT THEM DEAD!"  There was no reasoning with him...another of his sons was gone, all due to an archer.

                As the Dwarves prepared to attack, a bright white light filled the chamber, knocking everyone off their feet.  As it faded and everyone started back to their feet, a familiar voice to the dwarves shouted.  "Take up arms!  FIGHT!"

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                As the Dwarves fought their way to freedom with Gandalf, a young dark haired Ranger knelt beside the trembling body.  While inspecting the back injuries, he glanced over briefly to his companion.

                "Master Hobbit, would you be so kind as to get the rest of the water pouches off my horse?  I fear what I brought in here won't be enough to clean all of his wounds."

                Bilbo nodded quickly as he ran out.  The sight of all that had been done to his friend looked worse and worse by the minute.  Hopefully the others would get here soon so Oin could help.  Unstrapping the bags from the horse's saddle and returned to help clean the wounds, he said a silent prayer for a quick healing for the lad.

                "How long do you think he was in that place," Bilbo questioned Gandalf's friend.  Luck was on the company's side that he had been heading this way due to rumors of Orc Packs making camp nearby.

                "By the amount of wounds and how many have started to close," the Ranger said, even though something in him knew the Hobbit didn't really want to know the response to this.  "I'd say several hours before you got him out with Gandalf.  Does he have any family on this journey?"

                "His brother and uncle.  Why?"

                Rinsing out the cloth for the third time, he sighed.  "Unless they have a healer with them, I think it might be for the best that they not see him like this.  If he does not make it, they would be better to not remember him broken."

                All Bilbo could do was nod as he had to agree with the dark haired man.  Taking his own cloth and gently wiping the blood from the archer's arm, they worked in silence.  After what seemed to be an eternity, the sounds of the other Dwarves drifted into the cave.

                "I'll stop them," Bilbo stated as he ran outside and did his best to block both Thorin and Fili.  This was a task he knew would not be easy, if not down right impossible.  "Please!  Don't go in there!  Not yet at least!"

                "Are you truly trying to stop me from seeing my little brother?" Fili growled with such a rage that even Dwalin took a stop back from the blond dwarf.  No one had ever heard him this angry before.

                "Not entirely.  His wounds are bad and I think we should let Oin do his work on him before you see him.  We'd only get in his way if we were in there with them."  Bilbo was pleading and was very thankful when Thorin stepped in to calm the angry Dwarf.

                "Burglar, I think you had better explain what exactly happened when we got seperated," Thorin demanded as Oin rushed past them to work on Kili.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Fili watched as Oin and the man, whom Bilbo told them was a Ranger from the North, worked on saving his brother.  He'd barely head the explaination of events that happened earlier.  Arms crossed, he fumed at the thought of needing permission to be near his brother in his time of need.  _Permission?_ Fili scoffed to himself, _I shouldn't need permission to help my own brother!  Instead, I'm stuck in the doorway feeling helpless!  He needs me to help keep him calm!_

                "He's a fighter," Dwalin said, breaking Fili out of his thoughts, as he placed a hand on the blond's shoulder.  "Always was, even from the day he was born."

                "I know, but we always fought all of those battles together!"  He listened to the whimpers and cries coming from his now awake brother and couldn't help but tremble.  "What am I going to do if he doesn't make it?  I don't think I could face life without him..."

                It hurt the old warrior to see that much pain on his face.  Glancing over to his brother he wondered what he would do if that was Balin lying in the cave, quite possibly dying.  He hoped he would have the support that Fili now had, along with truthful answers to his questions.  "You'll have to take it day by day.  It won't be easy, but he wouldn't want you hurting for his passing.  He'd want you to live your life to the fullest."

                Fili smiled softly at his uncle's friend.  "Thank you, Dwalin.  It means so much to me..." his thoughts forgotten as Oin had pulled the blanket up Kili's body till only his head was left uncovered.  He watched as his brother's head fell to the side and looked straight at him.  The sound that came from his voice was one of a desperate plea.

                "Fili!"

                As the Ranger cleaned up the bloody rags used to clean and treat the numerous wounds that covered the boy's fraile body, Oin walked over to Fili.  The look of pure dread scared the young one to his core.

                "You should see him, talk to him, while you still can," the old healer said before walking over to Thorin.  No one had seen Fili run that fast since the day his brother had been born.

To be continued...


	2. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tough decisions have to be made in regards to Kili's safety...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Oh the feels!!! This story is mainly going to be about Kili’s healing from what happened in the last chapter, but that probably won’t start till chapter 3…
> 
> Also, anyone wanting to follow me on Tumblr...http://jadedmooneflowerz.tumblr.com/
> 
> These are basically un'beta'd chapters. Hubby looked at them to make sure words were in the right place (thank you dyslexia), but other than that...

                Fili knelt down and brushed a stray lock of brown hair behind his brother’s ear.  A soft smile formed on his face as the younger looked up at him.

                “How you feeling, Kee?” He kept his voice soft in case of a headache.  None of the wounds were exposed, so he was afraid to find out exactly how bad his wounds truly were.

                “Hurts so bad,” Kili croaked as the tears started to fall down his face.  “Why me, Fee?  Why me?”

                The pain in his voice broke the blond’s heart.  If he could do anything to take away everything he went through, take away his pain, he would do it in a heartbeat.  “I wish I knew the answer to that one, lil’one.  We’ll get you through it, and one day, all this pain will be a distant memory.  You are such a fighter,” he encouraged as he fought down the hatred of the now dead Goblin King. 

                _No wonder Gandalf let Uncle and I finish that creature’s reign of terror,_ he thought about how Gandalf had stepped aside after slicing the Goblin King open.  After telling Thorin and Fili to have at it, he held onto the Orcist’s handle with Thorin as they both rammed it into the Goblin King’s black heart. 

                Kili’s whimper as he reached out his left arm to hold onto his brother’s hand broke Fili out of his thoughts.  “Love you, Fee, but I think I got to go now.” He whispered as his eyes shut closed.

                “Kee?  Kee?  Don’t you dare leave me!  You have to stay with me!” Filly frantically reached up towards his brother’s shoulders as a familiar bottle came into sight.  He had to chuckle at the fact that good old Oin had given his brother a sleeping draught.  Sitting down, he held onto his brother’s hand as he slept through the pain.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Elrohir stared off into the distance behind where they stopped to let their horses rest.  He didn’t fully understand why his father had insisted that the message be delivered to Thorin before the end of the day; but with what he saw heading in the same direction, it would be a good idea to reach them fast.  Turning his horse towards his brother and taking one last opportunity to playfully nudge him, he motioned towards where he was last looking.

                “Orc pack, about half a day behind us.  Looks like they’re heading in the same direction we are.”

                “Think if we beat them to Thorin’s company, he’ll let us help them fight if they stay?”

                Elrohir only smirked.  “I’d like to see them try to stop us!  Remember what our dear little sister says.”

                “It’s our job to fix the mistakes of our elders.  Good thing we all agree that Thranduil made a huge mistake turning his back on the Dwarves.” Elladan laughed as they rode off.  Both of them and their sister agreed that the woodland king should never have turned his back on those of Erebor.  If nothing else, he should have offered them relief and/or medical assistance.  They both hoped that Thorin reclaimed Erebor, it prospered, and that the King took every opportunity to rub it in Thranduil’s face!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Thorin watched as his eldest nephew ran into the cave and Oin walked towards him and the rest of the group.  For the second time in his life, he truly feared the news the healer would give to him about Kili.  The only glimpse of hope he had was the small smile on the healer’s face.

                “Please tell me you have good news,” Thorin asked as the rest of the company gathered around to hear the news.

                “While his wounds were extensive, he will eventually make a full physical recovery.  The only problem is that it will be a long journey for him and he shouldn’t make that while traveling with us.  As he is still very weak, any more traumas could kill him.”  Oin stated as he saw the worry mount in Thorin’s eyes.   “Gandalf’s Ranger friend has offered to take him back to Ered Luin and that you could secure a safe mode of transport for him.”

                Gandalf only nodded and made his way towards a large cluster of trees.  The Dwarves stood dumbfounded as the wizard appeared to be talking to the butterfly that landed on his walking staff.

                Thorin looked over at Oin and sighed.  The question on his mind was not exactly one that he wanted answered, but he had to know exactly how bad his nephew was hurt.  “What exactly did they do to the boy?”

                Oin looked at Thorin, face and voice more serious than any of them have any heard.  “I seriously don’t know how he is still alive.  The most minor of his injuries are that he’s almost covered head to toe with bruises.  He’s got at least 3 broken ribs.  His back is one gash after another that it’s to the point that I don’t know where one starts and another ends.  That vile goblin even branded him like he was a piece of cattle.  The worse thing though is that his right arm is almost shattered.  I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to hold a bow again.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                The first thing the Elven princes saw was Gandalf talking to the end of his staff.  Looking at each other, they had to wonder if their old friend had finally lost his mind.  Pressing forward the looks on the faces of the group of Dwarves started to worry them.

                "Hail Thorin, son of Thrain," Elrohir exclaimed as they arrived by the group and dismounted from his horse.  "We pray that you will forgive the intrusion, but we have come baring two messages from you."

                Thorin regarded the two elves sceptically, almost wondering if he was seeing double, as they walked towards them.  He almost feared they had been sent to stop them from completing their quest.  "It depends on the messages and who they are from," he responded gruffly.

                "One is from our father, Lord Elrond," Elladan stated as he handed the letter over to the prince.  "The other is from us.  On our way here, we spotted an Orc pack about a half day behind us.  It appears that they are heading this way.  There only appeared to be about 2 or 3 in the pack the last we saw them.  If you would accept our help, we would be more then ready to fight along side you."

                The faces on the company paled slightly at the rememberance of Gandalf's words not even a week ago.  Were they truly being hunted by Orcs?  If they were, why?

                Thorin looked from the faces of his kin to those of the two elves, not entirely sure what to make of them or their offer.  Things that have happened in the last few months have started to make him question his beliefs.  "Why would two elves wish to aid us?"

                "Not all elves agree with what Thranduil failed to do all those years ago."  Elladan tried to ignore his brother's muttering of 'pompous ass', but apparently he said it loud enough that the dwarves chuckled.  "Those that don't agree with him would like to see you succeed in your quest and perhaps a friendship be attempted.

                Thorin nodded as the offer and their reason seemped genuine.  If these elves wanted to help, he would allow it, but he wanted no more injuries if possible.

                "If you are willing to fight with us, who am I to object?"

                The twins smiled as they formed a quick plan of attack against the Orcs heading their way.  During the plan, the elves found out about the injured dwarrow and the curses about the Goblins uttered from their mouth had Dwalin blushing, they also figured out how to probably buy them some extra time.  Blinking, Elrohir couldn't believe his eyes as a familiar ranger came out of the cave and headed towards the group.  As he stepped up, Gandalf had finally stopped talking to his staff and returned to them.

                "Thorin, may I present Aragorn, son of Arathorn.  He is the Ranger who’d assisted Oin with Kili’s treatment.”  Gandalf smiled as Aragorn nodded his head slightly.  He hadn’t missed the slight discomfort in the Ranger’s eyes at the use of his birth name.  “How is he?”

                “Sleeping peacefully at the moment.”  He looked at the Dwarves that gathered.  Looking at Thorin directly, he asked. “With your permission, I would like to travel with him to ensure his safe arrival.”  After that, it would be up to the darrow’s mother if he would be permitted to help in his recovery.

                Thorin only nodded, not used to receiving so many offers of help that he quietly excused himself and made his way to his boys.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Thorin sat down next to his eldest nephew and watched as he gently stroked the younger one’s hair.  Reaching over, he pulled the blanket away to look at the bandaged body and had to agree with Oin’s question of how he made it through at all.  Covering his nephew back up, he blinked back the tears that threatened for he now had to give the elder a very hard choice.  One that he was glad he never had to make in his life.

                “Fili, I know you really wanted to come with the rest of us to reclaim Erebor,” he started.  When the blond looked up, Thorin noticed the confusion in his eyes.  “The thing is, according to Oin, Kili is lucky to have survived what happened to him.  They tortured him and we all fear for his emotional health as well as his physical one if he were to continue on with us.”

                After a moment’s hesitation, he reached over and held onto Fili’s free hand and squeezed gently.  “We are sending him back to Eren Luin, but I’m leaving the choice up to you if you return with him.”

                Fili only stared at his uncle and suddenly felt very torn in two.  There was the part of him that wanted nothing more to keep the promise of protecting his brother that he loved more than anything.  Then the part of him that had promised the same brother to protect their uncle and see this thing through to the end.  Looking down, he wished the brunet was away to discuss this with, but then again if he had been, they  probably wouldn’t have needed to discuss it.

                “Allow me time to think about this.  I will give you my answer when it’s time for his return home.”

                Thorin only nodded as he let go of his nephew’s hand and leaned against the cave wall.  Together, they sat watching and praying that all would be right with their kin!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Gandalf watched as the two elves helped Aragorn and Oin restock their medical supplies with nearby herbs.  Dwalin and Bifur kept a lookout for the Orc pack as the others fastened together the makings of a gurney for Kili’s return trip.  Glancing back, he watched as Bilbo went from group to group running whatever errands needed running.

                Heading back into the cave, he updated Thorin on everyone’s  progress.  He quickly checked over Kili’s wounds as he let Thorin know that the twins had given them most of their own supplies, only keeping what little they needed for their one day ride back to Rivendell.  Once he delivered his messages and was assured that Kili was safe to travel, he headed back outside.  Only a smile could be seen on his face as he saw the Eagles flying towards them.  Walking over to the dwarves fixing the gurney, amazed with the beauty of it, he softly spoke to Bofur.

                “It looks like Kili’s transport will be here within an hour or two.  What aid can I give?”

                Bofur smiled and looked at what they had achieved in a few hours.  “Looks like we’re ready for them.  It holds Bombur’s weight, so it should hold Kili with no problems.  How’s the lad doing?”

                “Thankfully, he is still asleep.  I have a feeling that the sleeping draught that Oin gave him will keep him asleep till after he’s back in his own bed.”

                Bofur looked up at him, the question that was on all of their minds slipped from his lips.  “Is Fili going with him?”

                Gandalf could only shrug.  To his knowledge, the young heir hadn’t made up his mind.  They all knew that whatever the choice, he would feel guilt over it.  Quietly, the two went back to helping the others in making the portable bed more comfortable till the eagles had landed.  The time had come to send one of their own home.


	3. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili is sent home to heal...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: This is probably the hardest thing I have ever written. Seriously? How do you write for someone who is unconscious?

                He felt as if he was floating while wrapped in a soft fur cocoon.  Fragments of conversation drifted in and out as he tried to figure out what was going on.  Thorin’s voice came through with a laugh as he read something out loud.  He heard Fili talking about how they’d go hunting after they retook Erebor.    Dwalin was ordering the others to be careful as they moved something fragile.  None of the conversations flowed together for him.

                _Why is everyone sounding so worried or upset?_   Kili thought as he was starting to get the feeling that it was being directed at him.  He couldn’t understand it, and it was starting to worry him.

                “Now, lad, don’t be giving your Ma any grief when you get back home!”  He recognized Bofur’s voice and humor, but when he laughed, it didn’t sound right.  Something was off.  “You rest up and behave yourself.  We’ll see you in Erebor!”

                As a few of the others said their farewells, Kili started to panic.  The worry and fear, the references to seeing him only after they reclaimed Erebor.  He was going with them, wasn’t he?  Thorin had asked him and Fili to accompany him.  What happened to change Thorin’s mind?  Did he do something wrong? 

                Tiredness started to take over as the voices of the rest filtered through his head.  He fought to listen to what the others said, tired to make out where his brother and uncle were.

                _Oh, please don’t let the Goblins have hurt them like I was,_  Kili thought as a familiar hand touched his face and gently stoked a lock of his hair away.

                “You are the bravest Dwarf I know.  Probably the strongest as well,” his uncle told him in a soothing voice that was so unlike him.  “I am so proud of how you held on, but it’s time for you to head back to your mother.  Concentrate on getting better and when you are, you’ll rejoin us on our quest to take back our home.”

                Kili felt his uncle squeezing his left hand gently.  The words and the touch went a long was to quieting his growing fears and nerves.  The hand that was in his was replaced by another familiar one.  One that he knew in an instant was his brother’s hand.

                “I know I’m going to regret this,” Fili told his brother. “I know I’m going to probably change my mind at minimum of half a dozen times till we’re together again.  Please understand that this wasn’t an easy choice for me to make.  There is nothing more that I want than to be with you and helping you out, but Thorin and the company needs me.  I’m sorry Kili, I already regret this choice, but you and I made a promise to keep Uncle safe.  I already failed you, so I must keep this promise.  Oh Mahal, I’m so sorry!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Fili stood up as Thorin’s hand lay down on his shoulder.  The look he was given asked if he was sure about the choice he made.  All he could do was shrug; his mind was already reeling and guilt piling up in his stomach.  His mom was going to kill him for not going back and for not protecting his brother better.

                Moving to stand with the others, he watched as the Ranger moved to sit on the eagle.  It didn’t seem real till that moment when the gurney was picked up by the bird’s claws.  For the first time since his baby brother was born, they were separated.

                “Safe travels my brother,” Fili whispered.  “May the road be smooth on both your voyage home and your recovery.  Whatever else you may do when you get home, please listen to what mom says!”

                Dwalin chuckled as he handed Fili his twin swords.  “Come on lad, let’s kill us some Orc!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Dis sat by the fire mending some of the clothes left behind by her boys.  How she missed the laughter and mischief that filled the cottage.  Something told her that she should have fought harder to keep them here, but Thorin would keep them safe.  Even if he had assured her, the dread that had been felt over her in the last day wouldn’t leave her.  Something was wrong, she knew it, and it was one of her boys in trouble.

                “DIS!  DIS!” A young darrow voice shouted as footsteps pounded up the stairs.  Look out the window; she could only chuckle as her Fili’s sweet Dagmar flung the front door open.

                “Dagmar!  Slow down.  What has gotten you in such a state?”

                Dagmar look at the mother of her beloved and wanted nothing more for what she was about to tell her to be wrong.  “It’s Kili!  He’s back!”

                “Why would my youngest be back so soon?  They can’t…” Her thoughts were interrupted when the dread of the last day filled her stomach again.  “What happened to my son?”

                Dagmar only shrugged, but the tears in her eyes spoke volumes.  “I’m not sure, but he was brought back by a giant eagle and a Ranger accompanied him.  Whatever happened, it looks bad though,” she said as she moved out of the way of the mother’s way.

                 As Dis took off running, Dagmar right behind her, they ran into a group of dwarves and a man carrying what looked like a large pallet towards the two.  The group set the pallet down as they met nearby and all Dis could do was fall to her knees.    She could only weep as she saw the broken body of her baby.  She swore that her brother would pay for what happened to him.  He’s promised to keep them both safe and he sends her youngest back to her in this state!

                Aragorn knelt down next to the mother and softly talked to the darrowdam.  “I know it looks really bad, but it honestly looks worse than it is.  Your brother asked that I give you this,” he said as he handed Dis the letter and reached over to recover the sleeping boy.  “We should get him out of this cold air.”

                Gimili and Dagmar helped Dis back to the house as the others brought Kili in.  Dagmar took control by showing the Ranger where Kili’s room was, getting him and Dis settled in, and having Gimili run for anything that was needed.  Once all was settled, Dis started reading the letter had sent out loud, Dagmar sat on the edge of the bed rubbing Kili’s unbandaged hand.    After she’d finished reading the letter, she got up from her chair and went to see if Aragorn was still there.  She was glad to find him leaning against a tree smoking his pipe.

                “My brother tells me that you can be trusted and that you did most of the work on healing my boy.”

                “Yes, but the most I did was clean the wounds till Oin got there and then I just assisted at that point.  If you would approve, I would like to see his recovery through.

                Dis agreed and lead him into the house.  She was not going to be too far from her boy for the foreseeable future.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                It’d been a week since he was brought home.  The day after he arrived home, Kili broke out in a fever that lasted another three days.  There was always someone by his side to help him eat or drink or to try to get his fever down.  After the second day of the fever, he stayed unconscious for another three days.  When he finally woke, it was his mother that sat by his side.

                “Fili,” he groaned as he first started to open his eyes.  His voice was horse from unused.  Blinking a few times, he stared confusingly at his mom.  Was the journey he’d been on just a dream?  If it was, where were Fili and Thorin?

                “Shhh.  Let’s get you sitting and some broth in your stomach before we get any of your questions answered.” She worked quickly, yet cautiously, to get him propped up against his pillows.  By the time the broth settled in his stomach, he had the time to notice some things that weren’t right with the room.

                “Ma, what happened to me?  Where are Fili and Thorin?”

                “They stayed on the quest to Erebor after you’d been hurt.  Do you not remember any of that?”

                Kili stared at his mom and tried to think back on what was the last thing he could clearly remember.  If his journey was real, then truly the last thing he could remember was a happy one.  “The last thing I remember was Bofur showing the Elves of Rivendell what good music was.”  He thought it best to leave out the fact that they’d also been throwing food around.  That was one thing he knew she wouldn’t approve of.

                “I’m afraid to find out what song he used to show them what good music is.”  Dis laughed as she worked on changing the bandages on his arms.  “What were you doing in Rivendell anyways?”

                Kili chuckled and told her what he could remember from their quest.  He watched her laugh at what Bilbo thought was a good distraction against the Trolls and amazed that Thorin now carried an Elvish sword.  As he finished his tale, his eyes stared at the damage on his right arm as it was cleaned.  Nothing could make him take his eyes off it as he started to panic a little at what else could’ve happened on the quest.

                “What exactly happened to me?” His voice shook as his eyes went from the twelve wounds on his arm up to his mom’s face. 

                As she put his arm back into the splint, she told him what little she knew from Thorin’s letter and what Aragorn had been able to tell her.  She then went into what injuries he had and how they were healing.  The ones on his back were almost closed all the way, but his ribs would still take a few weeks, if not longer to finish healing.  She felt a little piece of her heart break as some of the light that had just been in her son’s eyes started to vanish. 

                He started to try to move back into a better position to get some sleep.  Letting his mom lean over and help him back into a laying position, he only half smiled as she placed a soft kiss on his forehead as he closed his eyes.  The pain in his right arm made him wonder if he’d ever be able to use it fully again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                Aragorn sat by the fire reading while occasionally glancing at the sleeping form on the bed.  It was the first night since they’d gotten back over a week and a half ago, but he knew that may not last much longer.  The ranger was glad that he was able to talk Dis into allowing him to stay until the following evening watching over him.  They needed to talk about what had happened, and he hoped that Delwyndr’s advice would help the healing process.

                Getting up, he moved over and carefully started changing the bandages, trying hard to not disturb his patient’s much needed sleep.  His luck held out long enough to get his left arm done, as he moved to his right arm, Kili’s eyes were opening up.

                “Hey there,” Aragorn whispered to the boy.  He did not wish to startle him as he unbandaged the right arm.  “Glad you’re awake.  I’m going to be working on your right arm and I need you to try and make a fist.  Need to see how bad the damage is.”

                Kili nodded a little and slowly tried to close his fingers, surprised at the ease of how they closed.  Aragorn smiled as he felt along the wounds and realized that the bone may have only cracked instead of their original assessment.

                “I think we should start working that hand and arm out soon.  You should be shooting your bow again in no time.”

                All Kili could do was stare at his arm as he clenched and unclenched his fist with only the slightest discomfort.  Could he pick up a bow again after what happened?  Wasn’t that why they’d done this to his arm in the first place?  The questions flooded his mind as he continued to stare in disbelief.

                “I know this isn’t going to be easy.  Trauma like this never is.  Your mother tells me that you don’t remember is that right?”

                Watching as he slightly shrugged his shoulders almost confirmed to Aragorn what the dreams were about.  Reaching over, he grabbed the journal he got the prior day on his trip to Bree.

                “A good friend went through the same thing as you did.  He found that writing about it helped him till he was ready to start talking about it.”  Placing the journal on Kili’s lap, he squeezed his right hand a little.  “Please don’t hold this inside you.  While you may not want to think about it, letting it out will help you in the long run.”

                Touching the soft brown leather cover, he was suddenly thankful for Balin teaching him how to write with both hands.  The tears started forming as he tried to remember something from what happened in the Goblin Town, something other than that horrid song.  He didn’t budge as the other man’s arm held onto him as he cried.  Since he didn’t know what had happened to his brother, the offered shoulder to cry on would have to do.


	4. Hobbit’s Healing Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo tries an old Hobbit tradition to help with Kili. (Sorry for putting this summary on chapter 3...it was meant for this one. Chapter 3 is now corrected)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: wow…Who would’ve thought that I would be close to crying over something I wrote.

                They’d lucked out Fili thought as he rested his injured leg on the nearby log.  Oin stated that his leg was the worst of the injuries received by all.  Kili would laugh to hear that he sprained his ankle pulling Bilbo out of the way of a charging Warg.  It was a small blessing; the first of what he hoped would be many.

                _Any minor injury was a blessing compared to what those monsters did to my brother,_ he thought as Thorin passed him his pipe.  Bilbo had insisted on sharing his pipe weed with both of them after they’d arrived at Beorn’s house earlier that week.  Neither had had the chance to partake in it till now as the situation with Kili had been taxing on them all.

                He had to chuckle as Bilbo started asking Thorin questions about his life in Erebor.  It was almost like how Kili, Ori, and himself had asked him those same questions.  They’d loved listening to the stories as dwarflings and hearing them now reminded him why they were on the quest.  Concentrating on the byplay between his uncle and the Halfling, he could tell that there was something bigger bugging him.  Something he wanted to ask.

                “What is this Arkenstone you keep referring to?” Bilbo asked before taking another deep puff from his own pipe.

                Thorin smiled a little at the curiosity of his burglar.  He commenced the telling of the legend of the stone.  He told about how it was found, the beauty of it, and what it had symbolized to the Dwarves of Erebor.  Having told this story to the young dwarflings so many times, he felt like he could tell it in his sleep.  Glancing over, Thorin noticed how fidgety their burglar was and wondered what he truly wanted to know.

                “What troubles you, Master Baggins?”

                Bilbo stared at his pipe for awhile, not sure how to actually explain it, much less say it.  “Well…um…I’m not actually sure how to say it, but it is something that has been bothering me for awhile.” 

                Thorin looked at him and knew immediately what was bothering him.  His dreams were keeping most of them awake at night.  “Does this have something to do with Kili?”

                “It’s more about something he said.  He kept repeating the same thing over and over again after I came to.  I beg you forgive me if I say this wrong, as I would assume that it is in your native tongue,” he said as he attempted to repeat what was said.

                Thorin blinked as he peered over to see Fili’s face lose all its color.  It seemed that his youngest nephew also had the most loyal of hearts of anyone he ever knew.  Fili stood and walked away as Thorin answered Bilbo’s question. 

                “My life for my brother’s life,” he said as he choked back the tears.

* * *

                Kili signed as he stretched his arm out, trying not to wince as he worked out the stiffness.  Thinking back to the past week and a half, he started to wonder how much longer he could go on with the little amount of sleep he was getting.

                Looking over to his desk, he wondered if he should write some more in the journal.  It’d been three days since he’d last wrote in it.  Three days that his nightmares just got worse and worse, waking him up screaming for his brother.  What made it worse is that he wasn’t sure what parts of the dreams were true memories and what parts weren’t.

                “Kili?  Honey?” His mom’s voice sounded softly from the doorway.  There was always to be found in his mom’s love.  Turning, he smiled at the fact that she was in what Fili and him called her ‘market wear’.  “I’m going to head down to the market square to get some items for dinner.  I wanted to see if you wanted to join me for some fresh air?”

                He watched her and realized that he wasn’t ready to face anyone else yet and just shook his head.  It hurt to see the sadness in his mother’s eyes, so he faked a small yawn.  Something deep down told him that she didn’t fully buy it.  Curling up, he smiled as she walked over to tuck him in and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

                “Please try to get a little sleep,” she whispered.

                _Typical Ma,_ he thought.  _It’s amazing how some things are so oddly comforting._

                “Dagmar and Aragorn are just down the hall.  I shouldn’t be gone long.  Maybe after your nap you could keep me company in the garden?”  She knew that was a safer spot for him to get outside for once.  No one normally came around the back of the house unannounced.

                Nodding only a little, he closed his eyes.  He hadn’t any intentions of actually falling asleep, but for the first time in days, he slept without any nightmares.

* * *

                Bilbo had planned everything for the night before they left.  It’d been three days since he told Thorin and Fili what Kili said in his captivity.  Three days since Fili started avoiding everyone.  Tonight, they would do an old Hobbit tradition.  They were going to celebrate Kili.  Balin and Bofur had rather enjoyed the whole idea and insisted on setting things up.  As soon as Thorin and Dwalin talked Fili into joining them, they would all sit around the fire and begin.

                “I really don’t care!” They heard Fili yell from outside.  “I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment”

                “I really don’t care either!  You are going to do this.  It might help with your attitude if nothing else.  Dwalin, grab him!”

                “Dwalin!  NO!”

                The rest of the company could only laugh at the byplay and imagined that Fili would be brought in over Dwalin’s shoulder.  Watching the door slamming open, the balding warrior storming in, and dumping the prince unceremoniously into a chair near the fire.  Balin handed him a mug of ale as Thorin kneeled before him.

                “We won’t force you to stay, but I do ask that you please give what Bilbo wants to do a chance.  I’m not sure if it will help your brother or not,  but I do not see what harm it could do to at least talk about him and the things that happened.

                Fili stared at the mug in his hands and nodded, not like he had much of a choice.  Maybe it would stop him from feeling so helpless and so guilty.  Looking around he set the ale down and picked up his brother’s bow, touching the sigil he’d carved into it. 

                _Kili is probably worried over where his beloved bow is,_ he thought as he looked up to the group.  “What needs doing?”

                Bilbo smiled as Thorin moved to the sear next to Fili’s.  “As you know, Hobbits have a strong belief in love.  This belief is so strong that we feel that it can help with a loved one’s recovery.    If we can’t be with a family member when they are sick, we gather together and share either happy memories or something good about them.  Those thoughts, though I’m not sure how, help the ill family member get better, or at least know they’re loved.”

                The others looked dubious but when Balin chuckled a littled, they could only stare as he started to speak.

                “What harm can it do?  May do us some good too,” he said with a smile to Fili.  “I remember how, when he was little, some of us adults would call him a little chipmunk.”

                Dwalin chuckled at the nickname that Kili was most embarrassed of, he loved to call him that when he started to weasel his way into his heart.  “That boy could never stay still for long and had an unnatural love of climbing trees.” 

                Fili looked at the two and blinked.  He’d always wondered why some of the adults in the village kept calling his brother that.  Sitting back, he listened to a few other stories before Oin started to tell about the day Kili was born.  He hadn’t realized that he was a month early, but the true pang came when Oin told how proud his dad was.

                “Which parent does Kili take after?”  Bilbo asked curiously.

                “I guess he looks like our mom,” Fili shrugged.  “Our dad died when he was not even a month old, and I don’t remember much about him, so I can’t really tell you that much.

                Thorin sighed and vowed to start telling both brothers tales of their dad.  “You actually are so much like your dad, to the point that I almost call you Dali on some days.  Dis was an imp like Kili while we were growing up.  Dali was friends with our brother Frerin, and when your mother came of age, asked the two of us if he could court her.  Took us both by surprise, but he apparently had had feelings for her for years.”

                Fili smiled as he absently rubbed the bow in his lap.  Looking up he started to talk about one of the pranks they had pulled, carefully leaving out Ori’s part as he was the only one of them to not get caught.  He still vividly remembered the hiding they got from both Thorin and Dwalin for hiding the saddle of Dwalin’s horse.  No one ever found out that it had been Ori’s idea to hide it in plain sight though.

                The session went on almost the whole night.  Almost everyone felt so much better afterwards, but Thorin could tell that Fili had a long way before he did.

                _I will take him out in the morning before we leave and see if we can get some of that built up worry and anger worked out,_ Thorin thought as he told everyone to get some rest.

* * *

                Kili groaned as he woke to feel the now familiar pull of the shackles.  His arms ached as he pulled on the bonds.  The cold damp air worked its way through to his bones, to the point he thought he’d never get warm again.  Looking around, he froze as his eyes came across the broken form of his brother laying nearby, not moving in any way.

                “Fili!  NO!” Kili screamed as he fought against his own bonds.  They weren’t supposed to touch his brother, that was their deal.  His life for his brother’s.  “Oh Mahal, please don’t let this be true.  Please let me be imagining this!”

                “Oh little archer,” a menacing voice cackled as the metal tipped whip sliced into the skin of his back.  “He broke so easy when we told him you died.  Just crumbled and gave up!”

                Kili screamed in denial as he stared at his brother’s lifeless body.  He was stronger than that, he couldn’t have just given up!  Tears streamed down his face from the guilt that he caused his brother’s death.  Without him, nothing mattered anymore.  He caused Fili’s death and he felt himself break as the scene around him darkened.

                Looking up, he gazed up at the face of his brother, his face was covered in blood as his eyes held nothing but hate for the brunet.  “It’s your fault that I’m dead!  You should have fought harder to keep us safe.”

                “I tried, Fili, honest I tried!  I fought so hard.  They agreed to take my life to spare yours!”  Kili sobbed and prayed for forgiveness.  He was not expecting it to come, especially when Fili lifted his face with one hand and smacked him hard with the other.

                He felt himself falling as the room he shared with his brother came into focus.  The arms around him squeezed gently.  Kili glanced over into the worried eyes of his mother.  Pulling away, he curled into his pillow and sobbed as he realized that he failed his brother.  Failed to keep him safe.

* * *

                Thorin pulled his heir outside as the others finished their meal.  They would be leaving in a few hours and he wanted a little time before then.  He led him to a quiet secluded area by the side of the house.

                “You want me to talk about what’s bothering me, don’t you?”  Fili asked as he sat down on a small pile of wood.

                “Am I that transparent to you?” Thorin chuckled as his nephew nodded.  He made no move to say anything else, giving the other a chance to speak freely.

                “I’m confused, I guess.  He went through that to protect me.  Why would he do that?  I’m the one who should be protecting him, not the other way around!”

                Thorin sat down and squeezed his hand.  Little brothers were still a mystery to him, even his own had kept him on his toes while he was alive.  “I don’t think the whole brother protection rule applies to just the older protecting the younger.  Balin and Dwalin are the perfect example of that.  Dwalin would lay down his life for his older brother.  Kili, I believe, would do the same thing for you.”

                “He shouldn’t have had to endure that!  No one should!” Fili yelled as he picked up a nearby axe and split the log sitting nearby.  “Why would he do that?  I understand why he hid Ori, but not why he let them hurt him worse for me!”

                “He loves you.” Thorin rushed over as Fili fell to the ground, he wrapped his around the shaking blond.  “Sometimes that is the only logical reason.  Would you not lay down your life for those you love?  If for no reason but to keep them safe?”

                Fili fought back the tears that threatened before he answered.  “For Kili, ma, you, and Dagmar…that answer would always be a yes.”

                “Then you,” Thorin blinked as the last named clicked.  “Dagmar?  When did this happen?”

                Fili blushed as he realized that he had never told his uncle what had happened after he left for his meeting with the other clans.  “I asked permission to court her right after you left.  Thank Kili for pointing out the obvious to me that I was in love with her.  Edraig have his blessing without a second thought.  I’m sorry that I did not include you or tell you, but…”

                Thorin stopped him and only smiled.  “It’s about time you asked her.  You have my blessing as well.  I’m glad that it was her who stole your heart.  You make a perfect couple.”

                Fili smiled, a little easier this time, at his uncle in a silent thank you for everything as the tears now flowed freely from his eyes.

 


	5. Spiders and more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title gives it away...doesn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Tolkien. I'm just borrowing them to mess with their precious little minds! Any original characters in the story coming up were named by my dear sister, Lexi. She rocks with dwarf and elf names! Heck, she just rocks! Beo (pronounced Bay-oh) is my own. Wonder if anyone will get the joke? 
> 
> Author's Notes: ugh…I hate spiders…I really do!
> 
> Sorry for the OOC elves...

                Beo rode up to the small cottage on the outskirts of the village.  He chuckled at how it reminded him of the one his own mother lived in now, right down to the two people sitting on the porch smoking.  Dismounting his horse, he walked toward his friend and fellow Ranger.

                “Hail, Aragorn!”

                “Beo, good to see you old friend,” Aragorn laughed as he hugged the raven haired man.  “Allow me to introduce you to my gracious host.  This is Dis, daughter of Thrain.”

                The ranger smiled at the brunette Dwarf and bowed as he greeted her.  “It is a pleasure to meet you.  My name is Beo and I am a fellow ranger to this one here.  Pray you forgive my intrusion, but I came bearing messages from Gandalf and the company of your kin.”

                Dis smiled at his formal greeting.  “It is no intrusion if you bring news of our kin.  Please sit awhile and give us your news.”

                Beo smiled as he sat down.  He could only sit for a little while as he would need to head out as soon as possible due to heading towards Lake Town that evening.  The rumors were starting to spread of a large number of Orc Packs heading that way, but he would be willing to deliver news of home to their kin.

                Kili came out of the house as a black haired man started pulling some parchments out of his satchel.  Something about the man reminded him of a wolf.  Glancing at his mom from under the hood of his cloak, he wondered what exactly was going on.

                Dis smiled at her son’s glance, but made no move towards him to hug him.  In the two weeks since his last nightmare, he’d refused to let anyone touch him, no words were uttered from his mouth, nor did he leave the house without his hood covering his face.  “Kili, this is Beo.  He has messages from Thorin and the rest of our kin.”

                Beo looked up and smiled at the hooded lad as he held out two of the parchments to him.  “It is a pleasure to meet you Master Kili.  I was asked to deliver these two directly to you.”

                Taking the letters from him, he smiled his thanks.  Heading in, he opened the first parchment and smiled as he saw it was from Dwalin.  He couldn’t help but chuckle at Balin’s offer to let him use the library if he gets bored.  Curling up, he cherished the rest of the words from his warrior.  Moving to the next letter, he blinked back the tears at the words of encouragement from his brother.  Rereading the letter he found no blame for what had happened only encouragement to get better and to hurry up and rejoin them.  Deep down, he hoped he would be able head back soon, but first they had to work out why his arm would not stop spasming at the oddest and least convenient times.

                “Kili, dear?” Dis’ voice sounded from the doorway and he moved his legs to make room for her on his bed.  Looking up, she saw her smile at his gesture.  “Your uncle wrote this for both of us.” She stated as she held out the letter to him.  “Who did you get letters from?”

                Kili handed her the one from Fili, then signed to her that Dwalin sent his well wishes and use of Balin’s library.  As they exchanged letters, a peaceful quiet settled between them.  When she was done reading the one from her eldest son, she looked over to see first real smile to have touched her other son’s face since he came home.  “Did you want to send a reply?”

                Kili only shook his head and waited for the reason she came in for.  He always could tell when there was something else on her mind, and this time it was really apparent.

                “Aragorn and I were talking about your arm.  He thinks that maybe Elrond’s healers could fix the damage, but it would require you going to Rivendell for awhile.  Would that be something you would want to do?  
                All he could do was stare at her before he shrugged.  He signed that he would like a few days to think about it. 

                Dis only smiled as she stood up to leave.  “I’ll leave you to what you were doing.  I have a few choice words for your uncle that need to be penned before I start making dinner.”  She shared a warm smile with her youngest and prayed that things would now start improving.

* * *

                Fili was starting to hate spiders.  He’d been one of the first ones freed from the webs and worked to free the others.  His legs felt ready to give out and his brain felt foggy.  Finally getting Thorin free, he let himself collapse for a minute to the ground.

                Thorin caught him as he motioned them out.  He could only hope that their burglar would catch up with them.  Helping Fili, they made their way away from the webs.  None of them saw the figures in the shadows that started to follow them.

                Fili stumbled again; his vision was now completely blurred.  Grabbing onto his uncle’s sleeve, he fell to his knees as a pain shot up his back.

                “Fili?  What’s wrong?  OIN!”  Thorin’s voice so far off to the blond dwarf.  He felt hands guiding him the rest of the way to the ground; voices talked around him, but he couldn’t understand any of the words.

                Thorin stared as Oin checked for wounds that maybe causing this.  He started to prowl the small clearing as two Woodland elves stepped out of the heavily wooded area ahead of them.

                “Please tell me you didn’t run into a cluster of very large spiders?”  The ginger haired elf asked, staring directly at Fili.

                Thorin growled at her as he answered.  “If we had?”

                “Then check his back for a spider bite and you’ll need to put this on it,” she said as she held out a jar of yellow salve to Thorin, “before the paralytic venom takes into effect.  He’ll also need a place to rest for at least one to two weeks.”

                Thorin handed the salve to Oin as Dori and Nori held the heir in a sitting position.  As he looked at the back, he nodded to Thorin as he applied the salve.

                “My name is Legolas,” the blond elf stated.  “I think it would be wise to come with us.  Our healers should be able to help with the venom removal and show your healer how to make more of the salve, to be on the safe side.”

                Thorin sighed as he was starting to really dread the rest of this quest.

* * *

                Kili browsed the titles on the shelf in the shared library of Balin and Dwalin, looking for the one title that Dwalin had once recommended for him to read.  There was only a few days left till he headed back to Rivendell to see if Lord Elrond could fix the spasming of his arm.  He sighed as he looked towards Dwalin’s room and remembered how mad the warrior had been when he flirted with a random elf the last time he was there.

                Picking up the book on metal work, he walked towards the door he’d just been looking at.  Walking in he saw that nothing had changed since he’d last been in there.  He chuckled at the dagger he thought missing was sitting on the desk Dwalin did his design work at.  As he picked up the dagger, he couldn’t help but blink at the design on the paper under it.  It had looked like what Kili could only describe as a leather belt with his sigil on it.  Glancing back at the bed, remembering his last time with Dwalin, he wondered what exactly the warrior was thinking when he drew that.

* * *

                Thorin sat at his nephew’s bedside, fed up with the arrogance of Thranduil.  Who exactly did he think he was to hold them there because he didn’t agree with their quest?  He had every right to reclaim their kingdom.

                “Did my king not listen again?”

                Thorin could not believe that Tauriel had once again surprised her with her presence.  He must remember to look better at his surroundings when he comes into a room in this kingdom.  Watching as she redressed the bite on Fili’s back, his eyes glanced over and noticed Kili’s bow on the bedside table.  “Of course not, why should he allow us to leave when Fili is well enough and reclaim what is rightfully ours?”

                Tauriel smiled as she tucked the sleeping Dwarf back in.  Probably not the best time to get into a discussion of politics, she thought.  The Dwarf prince was tense enough as it was.  “The salve is working its wonders.  He should wake within the day.  This isn’t his, is it?”  Picking up the bow she had just inquired about.

                Thorin shook his head; he was being proven again that not all the Elves were as evil as Thranduil.  “It is his brother’s bow, why?”

                She looked at the bow admiringly before looking back at the Dwarf that sat in the chair.  She wondered when the last time he slept a full night was.  “It’s quite a beautiful bow, but the string is fraying.  Probably when the spider bit him, it rubbed against the string.  Would you mind if I had it replaced before it snaps and probably damages the rest of the bow?”

                Thorin nodded as he knew that Kili would not want anything happening to the bow Fili made him for his name day.  He almost missed her asking what happened to their archer, but the fear was most clear.  “Goblins decided to try and torture him.”

                He watched as she unconsciously rubbed her right arm and wondered if she too had met with the Goblin King’s version of hospitality towards archers.  “Thankfully, he won’t be doing anything like that again.”

                “How pray tell did you stop him?”

                “My nephew and I ran the Orcist through his heart.”

                Tauriel smiled at him, almost a smile of thanks, as she went to talk to her king.  If Thorin could take down the Goblin King, surely he could take down the dragon of Erebor; especially when she would volunteer her services as replacement archer.

* * *

                Thorin sat staring as his nephew and the guilt that flooded over him brought the proud man to tears.  First Kili, now Fili, how many others would be hurt in the quest to return them to their rightful home?  He put his head in his hands and as he closed his eyes, the images of the broken body of his nephew flooded his head.  They always did when he closed his eyes.   Now the images of his brother lying so still on the bed joined those.  Never in his wildest dreams did he think that his nephews would be the ones hurt.

                Moving over to sit on the bed, he unbraided his nephew’s hair before working on untangling it.  He let his tears fall freely as he worked on rebraiding the blond’s hair.  How he wished he had insisted that Fili went back with his brother.  Hearing the door open, he glanced up and blinked as Bilbo peeked in.

                “Where did they find you?” Thorin asked as he turned his away and finished braiding.

                “They found me with Gandalf, who found me near where the spiders had you tied up.  He was the one we suggested we look here for you.”

                Thorin refused to look up as he would not let the Hobbit or anyone else see the evidence of his recent breakdown.  He watched as Bilbo’s hand took one of his own and squeezed it before placing a letter in his lap. 

                “The Ranger who we met up with was able to get a few responses from your families.  He was even able to see Kili, who is apparently up and about.  That’s good news, if nothing else.”

                Thorin smiled at the news as he took the letter with a slightly shaky hand.  “While that may be a good sign, my sister’s wrath is not one so easily tamed.  I do fear my own life when I see her next.” 

                Bilbo tried to assure him that it couldn’t be as bad as he thought.  She couldn’t hold him responsible for what the Goblin King had done.  The fact that he and Fili had killed the one who’d done it should count for something.  At least he thought that till Thorin read the letter out loud.

My dear brother,

                After sending me my baby boy back in the condition you did, you had better hope that when I see my eldest again that not one single hair on his head is out of place.  If it is, then you will wish that Smaug had eaten you alive! 

                How could you let those monsters hurt my Kili like that???  You should have fought harder to stop them from taking him and torturing him till he was a shell of his former self!  He won’t talk at all, except when he calls for his brother during the throes of a nightmare.  If he leaves the house at all he has to have his hood up at all times to hide the scars on his neck.  I can’t even give my son a hug without him pulling away.

                As much as I know he wants to rejoin the quest, I don’t think it would safe for him to anywhere near it anymore.

                Keep Fili safe, or else!

Dis

P.S. Tell Fili that Dagmar has been such a blessing during all of this.  I would not have been able to handle it all on my own.  If he doesn’t marry her, I will feed him to a dragon!

                “See Master Baggins, my sister holds me responsible for their safety.  As their uncle, that is how it should be.  I have failed not only her, but the two of them, in this quest.”

                “Want me to run interference?”

                Bilbo and Thorin just stared at each other as Fili’s horse voice filled the room.  Thorin moved to sit him up as Bilbo ran to fetch him a glass of water.

                “I shall face your mother head on.  No King would be worthy of his crown if he did not at least face his own battles.”

                Fili smiled as he sipped the water Bilbo handed to him.  His uncle may want to face his mother head on, but that did not mean he would have to face her alone.  It was his own fault alone that his brother wasn’t protected in Goblin Town.

* * *

                Kili stared at the Elven town he had left just a few months earlier.  Hopefully he could get this done rather quickly and rejoin his kin on the quest.  It worried him that they would expect him to pick up his bow again; he did not think he ever wanted to see it again much less ever use it again.  He and Aragorn rode across the bridge in silence.  The memories flooded his head of his last visit, he was thankful his mother had decided to remain behind and watch over their people and help with the preparations for the return to Erebor.

                As they arrived, Lindir was once again on hand to greet them and spoke directly to Aragorn.  To Kili’s surprise, the two talked in Westron, if this was to put him at ease or not, he neither knew nor cared.

                “Delwynder is expecting him after he is settled in.  Lord Elrond has been pulled away on important business, but should return by morning.”

                Aragon nodded as they dismounted from their horses.  Kili knew the others would get a good chuckle when they found out that one week after he returned home, so did their ponies.  A black haired Elf leads the horses to the stalls as Lindir showed the two to their rooms.

                “From what I’ve been told, yes and no questions are the best to ask you for communication?”  He asked the young heir.  When Kili nodded, the Elf could only smile.  “You are in good hands here.  Delwynder is my cousin and one of our best healers.  I’ll let you settle in and get you for dinner.”

                After he got everything in order, he stood by the window and prayed the healer would be able to help.  Within the last few days, the spasms were starting to hurt to the point that he had trouble closing a fist.

* * *

                Thorin had refused to leave Fili’s side for the first day after he woke.  When tiredness was ready to make him drop, Gandalf had arranged for Balin and Ori to keep an eye on Fili so Thorin could sleep.  When Thorin was called to a meeting with Gandalf and Thranduil, it was Dwalin and Gloin who then sat with the bed ridden blond.

                What did surprise him was that Tauriel was waiting with Kili’s bow resting on the table, freshly restrung.  Looking between the three faces in the room, he refused to let the surprise show.  He reminded himself to keep it formal when dealing with the elves.  What he wouldn’t have given for that thought to have been heard outside, as he could just hear his grandfather saying it. 

                “Are we going to start this old argument again?  I have not, nor will I, change my mind about our quest.”

                Thranduil looked at him with disdain then his stare moved to the other two at the table.  “It seems that you have gained an ally or two.  They have convinced me to allow you to leave here and let you risk your own life taking on that blasted dragon.”

                “Not that it was your decision to make, but why the change of mind?” Thorin was learning, thanks to a certain Hobbit, not to trust his own opinion or preconceived notions any longer and to just sometimes ask questions.

                “Tauriel informs me that you and one of your own killed the Goblin Kin, is that true?”

                Looking at the woman for a moment, he nodded his confirmation.

                “Then please my offer to help you in your quest as I’m sure you will need an archer.”

                “Why would want to help us, other than apparently due to the fact that we killed the Goblin King?”  While he was open to try and trust others, some old habits were hard to break.  He watched as she lifted her arm to show twelve small round scars similar to the ones Oin described from Kili’s wounds.

                “Call it a gesture of friendship between two survivors of the Goblin King’s hospitality.”

                Thorin nodded his agreement as they started to plan their trip to Laketown.  He did not want Thranduil to know much more than that and he doubted that Thranduil wanted to know more than that either.

 


	6. Babel Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erebor has been reached...BoFA...everyone lives...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I couldn’t come up with a title, so I went silly! Who knew my massage training would come in handy for fanfic writing?  
> So sorry about the Arkenstone. I needed a bit of comedy…and as for not exactly telling where it is…I’ll leave that up to your imagination.  
> Do you know how hard it is to write for a character that is refusing to talk????  
> Again...this whole story is un'beta'd...so excuse the bad writing.

                Kili was learning the warning signs of the spasms in his injured arm.  First started off with the tingling and then moved on to a dull ache.  If he didn’t get the compression brace on by the time the ache came, he had little hope of stopping the now painful spasms.  Today was one of the rare days that he did not get any warning signs at all.  Looking at the Elven healer, Delwynder, he bit back the tears as he worked to stop the spasms.

                “You know, I think I’ll be heading with you when you head back to Erebor,” the ginger elf said as he worked on his arm, switching between compressing the muscle and then kneading it.  “Someone needs to show your kin how to handle these spasms if they happen after you leave here.  Hopefully, everything we’re doing here will stop that from happening.”

                Kili nodded as the pain eased and a damp warm cloth was placed over the arm.  He moved his eyes towards the window and wondered where they were.  With Durin’s day fast approaching, had they reached the Lonely Mountain?

                “You worry about your kin?”

                He only nodded a little as his eyes kept fixed on the window.  It still amazed him how quickly this one elf could learn to read his thoughts, though the fact that he started to learn some Dwarven signs to communicate with his patient better was more amazing.

                “I’m sure they’ll be fine.  If there is any trouble, the rangers in the area will gladly pitch in.”  Delwynder moved to put the compression brace on his patient’s arm and then placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Estel said he would be ready to work your arm out on the sword field after you let it rest for awhile.”

                Kili signed a quick thank you and smiled when the healer returned it with a welcome sign.  Walking to the window, he prayed those he loved safety.  He was thankful the nightmares had all but stopped.  The true frustration was that he still wasn’t sure what had really happened in Goblin Town.  The healers said that it was normal for some to block traumatic events until they were ready to be dealt with.

                _Maybe they’re right,_ he thought as he headed out to the training field.  _Maybe when my physical wounds heal, I’ll be able to remember and deal with the rest._

It only gave him a small sense of hope that things could ever be normal for him again.

* * *

                Fili followed the others down the side of the mountain to where the body of the now dead dragon fell.  He couldn’t help the twinge of guilt that it should’ve been his baby brother, not Tauriel, who’d taken Smaug down.  As he came to a stop in the now cleared out field, he wondered if his uncle even had a plan for disposing of the dragon’s body.  The look on Thorin’s face had confirmed his theory.

                “It’s bigger than I remember,” he heard Balin comment as they all stared at the body.  It seemed a little anticlimactic in the end.

                As he started to walk around the corpse, Fili listened to the others discussing how to dispose of it, and each option was shot down.  When he hopped over the tail, a glint from a shiny object, that had lodged itself quite near the juncture of the body and the tail, caught his eye.  Starring at it the perfect idea to get rid of Smaug crossed his mind.

                “Do you think Gandalf could have his eagle friends just carry him off and dump him in the middle of nowhere to rot?”

                “We’ll ask him when he returns from wherever he has vanished off to this time.  It just may give us a little extra time to come up with an alternate plan.”

                The other nodded as Fili motioned his uncle to the dragon’s tail and pointed at the gem that had caught his attention.  “Is that what I think it is?”

                Thorin nodded as the others came to look at what Fili had just pointed out.  They all knew there was no force in Middle Earth that would get any of them to touch the brilliant gem where it now rested.  Looking at the rest of the company, all Thorin said was, “let’s go bury the remains of those he killed.  Let their souls rest in peace at long last.”

                The company smiled, feeling a sense of great pride in their leader.  Thorin had just proved that he would be a good king as his people, even those long gone, took a priority over the loss of the Arkenstone.

* * *

                Beo started to wonder if the Dwarf’s hood was permanently attached to his head as he watched him run into the room; he could only suspect that he’d been doing some work in the forges from the way he was sweating.  Any news of his kin would probably be a blessing to the youngling he supposed.  As the brunet joined him and Elrond, he went straight to giving them his report.

                “It appears that Thorin and company have slain the dragon and retaken the Lonely Mountain.  The only issue right now is that the Goblins have banded together with some of the stronger Orc packs to take their revenge on them for the death of their king.”

                Elrond nodded as he motioned for Lindir.  “We’ll send all the help we can of course.  We can have our warriors and healers ready by morning.  He turned to Kili and knowing the answer before he even asked it, smiled.  “You wish to join us, am I correct?”

                Kili nodded and was itching to run to his quarters to pack.  It had been close to a month since Durin’s Day and to hear they succeeded in the quest made him excited.  The only downside was the thought that their dealings with the Goblins wasn’t over.

                “What other support at the Dwarves of the Lonely Mountain receiving?” Elrond asked Beo as he leaned forward in his chair.

                Beo smiled as he watched the anxiousness of the Dwarf and the calm of the Elf lord.  “The Dwarves from the Iron Hills should be arriving with the next day or two, while every able man from Laketown is ready to aid their new neighbors.  It’s the Elves of Mirkwood that are being hesitant.  Gandalf thinks he can talk them into joining the battle.  It is in their best interest after all.”

                Elrond wasn’t surprised that Thranduil was holding out.  He sent Lindir to start organizing everyone as well as any extra supplies that would be needed by all.  Offering the raven haired man a meal and bed he could only smile as he declined.  He had already planned on heading back towards the upcoming battle right away.

                They bid the Ranger a farewell before Elrond addressed Kili again.  “If you are sure about returning to your home with us, do you think you would be okay with riding on a horse with either Estel or one of my elves?”

                Kili only nodded as he knew deep down that his pony would not be fast enough to reach his kin in time.  He headed back to the forge to grab what he’d been working on knowing that Elrond would arrange for his pony to be brought back to Erebor later.  The no longer exiled prince could only smile as he touched the metal sigil he had been working on.  He was going home.

* * *

                The battle was bad by the looks of the remains on the field.  Both sides had lost too many, but more of the Goblins and Orcs than any other.  The Rangers had started gathered those bodies and burned the remains as from the wounded as possible.  Dwarves, Elves, and Men collected their dead and prayed to find any sign of more survivors.

                Balin wrapped a bandage around Ori’s leg, he had been the last of the company to be accounted for and his brothers’ feared the worse.  Although he’d be teased about the Orc that had knocked and kept him pinned down.

                “This battle makes me glad that Kili is nowhere near here.”  Ori said as Balin finished up.  “I bet my brothers wished I hadn’t been either.”

                Balin smiled as he helped the scribe up from the ground.  “I have a feeling you are right, but every big brother has to let their little brother out to battle their own fights.  While Kili is not here, he has a battle that will take so much more strength to fight.”

                Ori nodded as they walked towards the healer’s tents.  They all thought of their missing friend and worried over his brother who still blamed himself for not protecting him better.  He knew that he, himself, would forever be in his debt.  As they neared the tents, two sets of arms wrapped around his waist.  Glancing behind he felt warmth grow at the sight of both of his brothers holding on for all they were worth.

                Nori leaned his forehead against his little brother’s head as he fought tears.  “You know that Dori is going to mother you to death, and I have a feeling that I will be doing the same for the foreseeable future.”

                Dori chuckled at the rare show of emotions coming from the black sheep of the family.  They both knew that the youngest would be kept in both of their sights till his leg was fully healed.

                “Kili?”  Ori squeaked as he looked into the distance.  The others turned at the name and followed his gaze, there in the distance was a Dwarf looking around for someone.  Next to him stood Lord Elrond and the Ranger that had returned to Ered Luin with him.

                “What is he doing here?”  Balin asked as he started to walk over to the group.  _That blasted boy should still be with his mother_ , he thought as he pondered kicking him all the way back to the Blue Mountains.

* * *

                Kili slid off of Aragorn’s horse, his eyes already darting around for any signs of his family and friends.  He felt his heart drop into his stomach at the amount of fallen warriors being carried off the battlefield.  As he bowed his head in a silent prayer to the fallen for a safe journey to their afterlife, Elrond’s hand squeezed his shoulder lightly.

                “Let’s hope your kin is just busy elsewhere.”  Elrond knew how worried he was for both his uncle and brother as he feared for his own sons when they went out on their patrols.  “Shall we see if there is something we can do to help till we find them?”

                As he made to head towards the tents, a familiar head of white walked towards the group.  The huge smile on his face went a long way to calming the fear for the safety of Thorin and Fili.  That smile vanished off Balin’s face the moment Kili stepped away before he was pulled into a hug.

                “Kili, are you okay?” Balin worried over the once affectionate Darrow who was always ready with a hug and a smile.  The one who stood before him seemed to cower under the hood of his cloak and trembled at the thought of being touched.  “What brings you here in the company of the Elves of Rivendell?”

                Kili bit his lip as he started to sign the words ‘we heard about’ then motioned to the battlefield.  ‘We want to help.’

                Balin was taken a little by surprised at the fact that Kili was still not speaking.  His hatred for the whole race of Goblins now surpassed anything he felt for anything.  “Help?  Why do I feel like you were trying to get here before the battle started?”

                Kili nodded as Elrond stepped forward.  “We have healers with us as well as supplies, which will arrive by tomorrow morning.  Our warriors are more than willing to take over patrols for remaining Orcs and Goblins so the ones doing it now can rest.  If we could discuss what you wish us to do?”

                “I think you should see Thorin about that and you,” glancing at Kili, Balin smiled kindly, “have a lot of worried people who’ll want to see you.  Let’s get you to the two who are worried the most for you.  I just wish Dwalin and Bilbo hadn’t left this morning.”

                As they headed towards the tent that housed the royal family, Balin told the group how Thorin had invited the Hobbit to stay in Erebor and he accepted without a second thought.  He kept the rest of the company away with a shake of his head.  Opening the cream colored flap he led them in the first thing Kili saw was the sleeping form of his brother, his face was covered in bruises.  He barely heard Balin explain that Fili was mainly just exhausted other than the bruises.

                “Kili?” Thorin sat up, surprise written all over his face that his sisters-son was standing before him.  His heart lightened as his nephew took off his hood and smiled softly at him.  Neither noticed that the others decided to leave the family alone to be reunited.

                Kili sat on his uncle’s bed with his hands in his lap.  He wanted his brother and chuckled when Thorin of all people tossed one of his pillows at the sleeping blond.  Watching his brother looked around as Kili waved.  It wasn’t until his eyes attempted to focus that Fili’s eyes grew as wide as his smile.

                Thorin was the first to speak breaking the happy silence.  “Do you still not want anyone touching you?”  He had hoped he would allow them to give him a hug if nothing else.

                Kili nodded, he did not want any more pain.  He hoped they understood as they started to tell him about the quest.  It was so good to be finally back with the rest of his family.


	7. Transitions

                He was amazed at the amount of progress had been made in two months to make Erebor habitable once again.  Every day he worked almost twelve hours clearing away rubble if for no other reason than avoiding questions from the rest of the company on what had happened, much less the pressure to talk again.  Deep down, he knew that they were just trying to help, but they couldn’t understand that he just didn’t want it.

                _Why can’t they just let me alone,_ he thought as he headed toward his small set of rooms.  All he wanted was a hot meal, a nice long soak, and to curl up in his nice warm bed, but that plan was dashed as he saw Nori standing by his door.  _Mahal!  Now what am I going to have to put up with?_   Every time he tried to get away from the help, the harder they tried.

                “Kili!  Just the Dwarf I was looking for!”  Nori exclaimed as he started towards the brunet.

                Kili smiled at him as he nodded his hello.  Of the whole company, he’d been pretty much the only one who hadn’t tried to get him to open up.  He guessed they were now desperate enough to call on the thief.

                “Bet you know why I was sent, so let’s just get this over with so you can get on with your night.”  Nori motioned for him to walk with him and they headed towards the main gate...  He’d seen Tauriel and Legolas arrive to start their trade negotiations with Thorin in the morning and asked her to wait there.  If anyone should be helping Kili, when he was ready for it, it was her.  “Not sure if I’m the right person for helping you, but I know how protective both older and younger brothers are; so I’m just going to introduce you to the one person who knows whatcha went through and leave the decision on how much you talk to her up to yourself.  Think it’s wrong for the rest to try and force ya into talking.”

                All Kili could do was blink as he couldn’t remember ever hearing Nori say that much in one sitting.  It was a nice relief that one of the company was willing to let him work things out for himself and gave him probably one of the best options for his recovery.  The two walked in silence till Kili saw the Elven guard for the first time.  The first thing he noticed about her was the twelve scars on the arm that fixed her hair.  It was weird to see a maiden of any race bare their arms, especially in the cold of winter.

                “Tauriel, this is the one we were telling you about.  Kili, this is Tauriel, the elf that helped us get rid of Smaug.  We all thought you should meet and maybe talk, though I have a feeling you’ll need an interpreter, about what happened to both of you.”

                Tauriel smiled and agreed quickly to be available to talk to him if he ever needed someone to talk to, even if it wasn’t about what the Goblins had done.  Kili nodded his understanding but suddenly, all he wanted to do was flee.  Hopefully she would understand that he just wasn’t ready and couldn’t do it yet.  He signed to her, with Nori translating, that he was pleased to meet her and when he was ready, if she still wished then, she’d probably be the first to find.

                “That’s perfectly alright,” she stated with an understanding of his feelings he’d not gotten from the others.  “I will not force you into talking about it.  It’ll not help you or anyone around you.  Perhaps I should let you go though as you look ready to fall asleep where you stand?”

                Kili signed his thanks then wished his two companions a fond good night as he headed back towards his quarters.  That meeting had gone better then could be expected.

* * *

                Fili stared off in the distance as he let the talking around him fad out while his mind wandered to his brother.  He’d barely seen him since Oin let the blond off of bed rest.  Before that, the only time his brother had left his side was pretty much to get them their meals and take care of other business.  It was nice to be able to finally spend time together, even with how quiet it had been during those two weeks.

                They’d both been haunted by all that had happened since they’d first left their childhood home, but everyone thought things were getting better with Kili.  He’d been smiling more and the lost look was starting to be leaving his eyes.  Everyone was glad that he’d stopped wearing the hood over his head and swapped it out for a scarf that Ori had made for him while at Beorn’s house.  The thing that worried the company was that a week and a half after Fili had been up and around, Kili started to pull back from everyone and was smiling less.

                “Fili, are you okay?” Thorin’s voice and the hand on his shoulder interrupted his train of thought.  At the nod from his heir, he chuckled a little.  “Are you even paying attention to these negotiations?”

                Fili blushed as he shook his head.  “Sorry, I’m afraid I let my mind wonder for a moment.”

                Tauriel, Legolas, and Thorin couldn’t help the laughter at his honesty, but it was the ginger archer who spoke everyone’s question.  “I take it you were thinking of your brother?”

                “He was making so much progress when he got here and then he started pulling away again.  I don’t understand it.”

                “That is to be expected,” Tauriel stated as she squeezed his hand.  “It was a year before I trusted again, much less smiled.  When I met him last night, I could see the changes that you spoke of.  It’s a good start.”

                Fili and Thorin just stared at her till she explained how Nori had arranged the meeting and her offer to be someone Kili could talk to when he was ready.  She knew that Thorin had asked for her to be Thranduil’s emissary due to both her dealings with the goblins and he’d learned that she was trustworthy after she took down Smaug.  “Just be patient with him as pushing him to get better will nothing but harm.”

                “Dwarves are not known for their patience,” Thorin reminded her as everyone laughed.

* * *

                He felt like he was stalking his little brother, but the curiosity of where he vanished everyday was too much to resist.  Most days he was clearing the rubble from the East wing, weather permitting, and the rest he either sat at his desk designing some stuff or working on some secret project in the forges.

                “Spying again?”

                Fili couldn’t help but jump as Balin caught him for the third time that week watching his brother working on clearing the last of the rubble heading into the East wing.  Although they’d been able to reach the wing from the inside, Thorin refused to let anyone move in to the mostly undamaged living quarters without another way in or out.  “Stop sneaking up on me!  I wasn’t spying on Kili, just checking on the progress…from a distance.”

                “Aye, like I said…spying.”  Balin had a rarely seen twinkle to his eyes.  “The lad is a hard worker, like your dad.”

                “He’s wearing that blasted brace again.”

                “Oin wants him to wear it, loosely, while he works here in case his arm starts to spasm, all he has to do is tighten it.  From what I’ve been told, he’s not had an issue in almost a month.”

                Fili leaned against the outer stone wall to watch as his brother sat on the pile he was clearing.  He saw a brief smile on the brunet’s lips at the progress of the clean up.  It was this moment that he wanted to just hug him and let him know how much he wants his brother back, not the stranger in his brother’s body.  “I miss him so much, Balin.  I know we’re here together, but I miss who he was, who we were before all this happened.”

                “We all do, but until he is ready to take that next step, we can’t push him anymore or it may push him further away from us.”

                “Always the voice of reason, but it’s easier said than done, isn’t it?  If it was Dwalin, would you be able to do that?”

                Balin shrugged as he would like to have believed he would be patient if this was happening to Dwalin.  “Ya never know how you’d react till it actually happens.  Just try to be patient,” he said as he headed back inside.

                Fili smiled as he went back to watching his brother and being thankful for a mild winter.

* * *

                Kili stared at the pad that sat on his lap and wanted to chuck it against the wall.  All he wanted to do was something physical, but his blasted cold had Oin confining him to rest and unable to avoid anyone.  He was thankful that the others had stopped trying so hard to get to open up about the events that happened in the Goblin Town.  Gloin and Dori came by a few times a day to make sure there wasn’t anything he needed while Bombur assured that he ate.  Bifur and Bofur would show him some designs for toys that they were planning on making.  Thorin and Fili came by every night to share their evening meal, the only time of the day the young prince was allowed out of bed, and they shared all the news of the day.  His favorite bit of news was the news of Dwalin, Bilbo, and the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains were expected to arrive within three weeks.  To date though, his favorite visitor was Ori, who stated that he mainly wanted a place to hide with good company while he finished his brother Nori’s name day gift.  They’d spent their days in comfortable silence while they each worked on their own projects.

                As he pulled himself out of his thoughts he started to try to work on the trunk he was designing for his brother, but the design in his head was refusing to translate onto the paper.  He leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get the image to flow not to be enveloped into another nightmare.

                He’d been shaken awake not far into the dream by his brother.  The look of pure worry etched the first born heir’s face as his hands gripped his brother’s shoulders.  “Are you okay?”

                Kili shook his head as this dream had been so different from the others.  He’d felt the bite of the whip as the metal tips hit his back, the blood as it started to seep out of the wounds, and the pain that radiated off both his arm and back.  Trying as he might, he couldn’t pull away from Fili which only caused him to start panicking even more. 

                “Kee, please calm down!  It was just a dream, nothing more!  They can’t hurt you anymore, I promise you!” He tried to calm the frightened youth down and loosened his grip slightly.  What his brother signed before he curled into a ball made him more worried than ever.

                ‘He never stopped hurting me.’


	8. Fed Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Pretty much a Fili centric chapter with a little Kili thrown in for good measure!

                Fili was a Dwarf on a mission.  He’d spent the past two weeks trying to coax something out of his brother, but after his last nightmare he had completely withdrawn into himself.  His little brother spent most of his time curled up in bed or by himself in some private corner he’d found for himself.  What little he would sign to the others was generally an excuse to leave.  This time he was not going to get away so easily and he would finally explain what he’d meant by the whole ‘he never stopped’ statement.

                As he turned the corner into the hall that housed their rooms, he saw his brother stepping out into the hall.  This was perfect timing for his plan to be put into action.  Leaning against the wall he watched as Kili had spotted him and when the brunet winced, Fili knew it was the right time to strike.  Smiling at his brother he started to walk along side of him.

                “Any chance you can spare a few minutes to talk?” 

                He watched as his brother stopped and shook his head before signing that he needed to be somewhere.    Fili had had enough with that line and he wasn’t getting away without more information.

                “We could always walk and talk.”  The suggestion had made Kili roll his eyes as they both knew that signing while walking had obviously given him problems. 

                ‘Maybe later, I really have to go.’

                Fili could feel his temper rising as his brother used the same excuse he used every time he’d asked to spend time with him.  “When exactly is this later, because it never seems to happen?”

                Fili stared at his brother as he lowered his head to stare at the ground.  He hated seeing him so scared and that he was partially to blame made his anger worse.

                “Mahal, Kili!  You are letting those vile creatures win by shutting yourself up like this.  I never thought I would see the day when you, one of Dwalin’s prize students, would just lay down in the face of a battle!”

                All Kili could do was stare at him before coming out of the shock enough to reply.  ‘You don’t know what it’s like to go through what happened…’

                That had been the blond’s breaking point.  There were certain things his brother needed to hear.  Kili wasn’t the only one suffering from what the Goblin King had done.  “Of course I don’t,” he spat angrily.  “You refuse to let anyone in, won’t talk about it so we know how you feel or what you went through.  I never thought I would see the day that you ran away from something that would make you lose who you are!”

                Fili felt the hurt filled stare from his brother before he saw it and it made him just want to smack him.  Glancing at the hands that had yet to hold his bow, as it was sitting on the desk in Fili’s room where it had been when the other had refused to even take it back, and what was signed made his temper boil.  There was no fighting what he felt now; he could not hold his temper back.

                ‘I’m not ready to talk about it.’

                “Are you ever going to be ready?  It’s been almost six months since it happened!  When will enough time pass for you to snap out of this sulk you’re in and open up to someone, anyone about what you went through?”  He knew deep down that the yelling he was doing wasn’t going to help and that there was a crowd starting to form.  Kili needed to hear these things from someone and if the rest of the company wouldn’t tell him, he would.

                “Fili, that’s is enough,” Thorin bellowed as the prince winced as his uncle came striding down the hall and he suddenly felt like he was 10 years old and got caught eating the sweets his mother had told him not to.  The look he was getting made him fear what was to come.  “Kili, I believe you were on your way to meet with Oin for lessons?”

                Kili nodded and headed off as Thorin turned to look at his heir.  The disappointment for the scene that Fili had caused was written all over the King’s face.

                You will head to my chambers and wait there for me.  After my meeting with the blasted Master of Laketown and Bard, I will deal with you and your little outburst.”

                The look on Thorin’s face gave no room for argument as the blond slunk off towards his uncle’s rooms.

* * *

                Fili was sitting on the couch that sat before the fireplace, his hands clasped in his lap and head hung down, as Thorin came in and knelt before him.  He took the hands of his nephew in his and was suddenly glad that he had taken the time after his meeting to calm down and see that Kili was okay.

                “Why did you do it?”

                Fili shrugged as he refused to look up.  “I just lost my temper with the whole situation and blew up at him.  It was stupid and I was so wrong to do it.  Not mad at him, never could be mad at him…”

                “Stupid and wrong are true understatements if I ever heard them.  What is bothering you exactly if not your brother’s refusal to talk?”

                Fili leaned against the back of the couch and sighed.  “I feel like I’m losing him.  I watch him as he pulls away from everyone and refusing to tell anyone what’s bothering him and it scares me.  What if he pulls away so much that there is no hope of ever repairing the emotional damage that that thing did to him?”

                Thorin sighed as he realized that while he was so focused on Kili he never saw how much this was also hurting Fili.  The two had been closer than anyone he’d ever met and almost shared a bond that almost made them one Dwarf at times.  The pain of seeing his brother hurting along with the frustration of not knowing how to help was evident in the blue eyes.  Moving to sit next to him, Thorin wrapped his arms around the other’s shoulders.

                “I am sorry that I did not see nor consider how this was affecting you.  You two have been closer to each other than anyone I know.  All any of us has said was for you to be patient, but did nothing to help you release your tension.  Can you forgive me for being a bad uncle?”

                “There is nothing to forgive as it’s nice to see how many care for us.  Thorin, what am I supposed to do?  I don’t want to yell at him again, but I am still so…so…”  The image of the hurt in his brother’s eyes had haunted since he watched him head to his lessons with Oin.

                “Give him a little space then try to calmly talk to him.  If you feel the need to talk, find me or one of the others.  Whatever you do, don’t hold it in.”  He pulled him close and prayed the tears he saw building in those blue eyes would start flowing soon.

                “I am so scared,” he sobbed as he leaned into his uncle.  “I don’t want to lose him!”

                “You won’t.  Precious treasures that are worth more than all the gold in Middle Earth are hard to lose.”  Thorin only held him as he cried himself to sleep before he tucked his nephew into his bed.  “Neither of us wants to lose him.”

* * *

                Kili had thought a lot about what his brother said the day before.  Had he really just been hiding from the fear of what happened?  Too many questions had started running through his head he grabbed Ori and arranged to meet Tauriel outside on one of the balconies.  As the two waited for the Elven Archer, Kili lit up his pipe to calm his nerves as Ori knitted on the last bit of Nori’s gift.

                “What is it with Dwarves and the smoking of pipes?”     

                The two Dwarves smiled at Tauriel as Kili signed her his response.

                “It relaxes us,” Ori translated.  “Thank you for coming, it means a lot to me.”

                Tauriel smiled as she sat on one of the lower walls and looked out over the lands below.  The view was simply breath taking.  “I am only too happy to help you with any questions you may have and after what happened yesterday between you and your brother, I assume you have a few?”

                Kili sighed, had everyone heard about that?

                “Am I so unusual for not talking?”  Ori blinked as he translated and stared at him.

                Tauriel moved to kneel in front of the silent Dwarf and clasped his hands in hers.  “No, you aren’t unusual!  Kili, everyone copes with trauma differently.  I barely said anything to anyone and threw myself in to my archery.  When Delwynder found he could no longer use his bow for extended periods of time, he vowed to become a great healer and would rush to the side of anyone who’d gone through what we all did.  When you are ready to talk, you will know.  Just remember that only you will know.”

                As she released his hands, he signed a quick thanks before the three of them started to talk about her experiences and her recovery.  None of them noticed the figure who watched from the distance.

* * *

                Fili stood in the doorway to Balin’s study waiting for him to finish signing the parchment in front of him.  As he watched the snow haired Dwarf put the current sheet to one side he cleared his throat to gain attention.  “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

                “No bother at all.  Thorin said you might be stopping by in case you needed to chat while he headed to Laketown to meet your mom.  Everything okay?”  He could tell by the bags under the blond’s eyes and the way he slouched in the chair that he was far from okay.

                “I know you heard about my outburst earlier this week,” Fili stated as he stared down at his fingers.  “I can’t stop feeling so guilty about how I talked to him.”

                Balin smiled as he leaned back in his chair.  “Are you wanting to try and make amends with him?”

                When all Fili did was nod, Balin sighed.  The prince’s mood matched the storm that was starting outside.  “I saw him heading towards his room not even twenty minutes ago; I would suggest you may want to try a very sincere apology.  Something tells me that he would be willing to listen.”

                The speed that Fili left that chair was almost as fast as it took Nori to pick a lock.  Balin shook his head as his prince came back in to thank him.

* * *

                Fili ran along the halls dodging various Dwarves as he made his way to the royal wing.  He was praying to any and all deities that would listen to let his brother forgive him for being an idiot.  As he reached the door he couldn’t believe how nervous he was.  He hadn’t been this nervous since he’d asked Edraig for permission to court Dagmar!

                Raising his hand he knocked and waited.  When no answer came, he tried again while he called out for his brother.  After there was no answer again, he tried to handle to the door to find it locked.  “Please Kee, open up!  I promise I won’t be an idiot again.”

                He rested his head on the door as his heart sank.  “Look, I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier this week.  Please open up so I can do this apology properly,” he pleaded.  When several minutes passed with no answer, he felt his heart sink into his stomach.

                “Kili, I hope I hadn’t upset you before, but I am not really mad at you for not talking.  I fully understand if you aren’t ready to let anyone close to you, but I…I…” Fili took a deep breath before continuing to talk to the closed door.  He knew that a good portion of his reasons for wanting to hear his brother’s voice again were selfish, but Thorin was right.  Kili was his greatest treasure.  He’d always had a knack for cheering people up by just cracking a joke.  _Durin’s beard,_ Fili thought, _I even miss his stupid infectious laugh!_   “I miss you so much!  I miss being able to sit with you at night and just talk about anything that comes to mind.  I also hate that I broke my promise to you.  I couldn’t protect you from what those blasted Goblins did to you.  They took you away from me and I failed to get to you and stop them.  If there is anyone who I am mad at, it’s me!  It’s my fault, Kili, all my fault!  I failed you and now I fear that I may have lost my sweet little brother!” 

                Fili hadn’t know when he had slid down the door to his knees in tears, but was brought back from his grief as a pair of strong hands pulled him away from the door.  Looking up, he saw that his Uncle was the one holding him close to him and pulling him up to a standing position.

                “I hate to be the one to tell you this,” Thorin said as he pulled the blond closer to him.  “He’s not in his room and didn’t hear any of that.  Also, the only one to blame is the now dead Goblin King.  We both tried to get to him.  The important thing now is that while he may have had to go through that, Bilbo found him and got him out with Gandalf’s help before anything worse happened.  Healing from what happened to him is going to take a while”

                Fili could only nod at his uncle as he started to lead him to his study, but he had to ask him. 

 


	9. True Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Short chapter, but it’s starting to wrap things up…Can’t believe I’m almost done with this...

                Dwalin strode the halls leading to his room, ready to get out of his damp clothes and catch up with everyone, but one in particular.  As he turned the corner he was stunned to see that one sitting on the floor, soaked to the bone and crying as he stared off into the distance.  Moving to sit next to him, he overheard Thorin telling someone that only the Goblin King was to blame.  The warrior sat on the floor waiting for the other to make a move.

                Kili glanced to his left to see Dwalin just sitting there, letting him choose how and when he took his elder’s help.  Leaning in, he rested his head and let the tears fall.  Suddenly, Tauriel’s words came to his mind and he realized that it was the time to start talking.

                “I don’t know what to do anymore,” he sobbed as the warrior sighed.  “I just don’t want to hurt anymore.”

                Dwalin smiled as he stood and held his hand out, waiting for the youth to take it.  “Do you trust me?”

                He looked up at the Dwarf who probably knew his body and soul better than anyone.  Blinking back the tears he placed his hand into Dwalin’s waiting one and only nodded.  The warrior pulled him to his feet and walked him to his room.

                “Let’s get you into something dry first, then you will tell me just what exactly I missed.”

                As they walked into the main portion of the brunet prince’s room, Kili walked over to his desk and picked up a brown leather journal, as he turned towards the warrior the journal was held out as an offering.

                “Aragorn told me to write down what happened to me and about my nightmares.  I want you to look at this while I change.”

                Dwalin took the journal and sat at the desk; as he read the entries a part of him kept an eye on his young friend.  The more he read the more he was glad the Goblin King was dead.  He was amazed at the detail that Kili had put not only in what happened in the dreams but in the drawings of the weapons he’d already described.  It was the entry that the youngest heir expressed his frustration about only remembering the dreams but not what really happened to him.

                “I think you need to talk to Bilbo,” he said without looking up.  “He saw some of what happened to you and may be able to fill in a few of the blanks in your head.  Till he arrives, you may want to tell the others about this.”

                “I know,” he smiled as he slid his boots back on.  “They’re usually having their weekly meal together about now.  We should probably join them.”

                Dwalin nodded as they headed down to the kitchen.  Halfway out of the wing, Kili looked up at the warrior and spoke softly.  “Welcome home, Dwalin, welcome home.”

* * *

                Kili stepped into the dining area with Dwalin by his side and smiled as he saw the chair next to his brother was left open.  Clutching the journal to his chest, he walked over to the empty chair and listened as Thorin explained how the storm had delayed his trip to Laketown to meet the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains.  Everyone but the blond smiled as they realized that Kili had finally joined them.  None, though, had expected what happened next.

                “I heard your apology,” Kili stated as he played with the closure on the journal.  “Thorin is right when he says that the only one to blame is dead.  You tried your best to protect me and because of that your promise was never broken.”

                There was not a sound from anyone in the room as all heads stared at him.  Dwalin chuckled as he moved to the seat across from the princes.  After the eldest one gaped at the youngest, he did the most natural thing that came to his mind.  Fili leaned over and wrapped him into the biggest and hardest bear hug in history.

                “Kee, please tell me that I didn’t just imagine that!  You actually just talked, right?”

                “I did,” he whispered and squeaked when the blond’s hold grew harder.  “Fili, please…stop…”  His breathing started to hitch as his pupils started to dilate.

                Thorin pulled Fili away from his brother and it was only then that the blond noticed the panic on his brother’s face.  Biting his lip, he let his hands fall into his lap.  “Sorry about that,” he said as Oin stepped a little closer to make sure the youngest heir was okay.

                Once his brother pulled fully away, glad that Oin hadn’t come to close to check on him, he closed his eyes and got his breathing back under control he looked at everyone.  “Touching is still an issue for me, but I think there are other things that I need to tell you.”

                They all waited for him to speak, having learned the hard way about pushing the brunet.  As he pulled the journal onto the table, they had to listen super closely to his soft spoken words. 

                “I don’t remember what exactly happened, however my nightmares,” he signed not fully sure how to explain it.  “I can feel what they did, feel the pain, feel the blood seeping from the wounds, but when I see anything, I know it never happened that way, but I see them hurting Fili.”

                Fili looked at him as something started to make sense to him.  Gazing at his brother, wanting nothing more than to hold him and wipe away the tears that were threatening in those brown eyes, he spoke about what Bilbo had said for the first time.  “I’m guessing it is because they may have threatened me?”  The look of shock on his brother’s face made him continue.  “When we were at Beorn’s house, Bilbo said you kept saying ‘my life for my brother’s’ when he went to get help.  Maybe your dreams are showing you your fears of what could’ve happened?”

                He chuckled as the look went from shock to surprise at how insightful his brother was being.  Leaning back in his chair he only smiled.  “I think I know you well enough, little brother, as you know me so well.”

                Kili smiled as he confirmed that he did know his brother well enough.  He handed the journal to the blond as he whispered.  “I know and understand why you didn’t go back with me.  That couldn’t have been an easy decision to make.”

                Fili only nodded as Balin made the suggestion of continuing the conversation after they ate.  He had a feeling that this was not going to be pleasant dinner conversation.  He later found out how right he was as Ori ran out of the room to be sick at what happened to the prince.

* * *

                Balin had been thankful that they’d waited till after dinner to talk more about what had happened.  While there were various reactions, from Ori losing his dinner to Thorin wanting to run the Goblin King through again, the change in Kili was the best reaction ever.  Amazing how sharing his dreams had lifted a weight off his shoulders.  The white haired Dwarf moved across the common room he shared with Dwalin, saw the heavy weight on his brother’s shoulders, and sat next to him.      

                “Tell me brother, what is bothering you?”

                Dwalin looked up as he lit his pip.  “Not all the news from Ered Luid is good.  Apparently Edraig fell ill and passed in his sleep a few days after Kili left for Rivendell.”

                Balin stared into the fire as he thought of his friend and how his daughter no longer had a family to protect her.  He would not let befall that wonderful darrowdam.

                “You thinking about steppin’ up and puttin’ her under our family’s protection?”  Dwalin asked as he smoked and enjoyed the warmth of the fire.

                “And if I was?”

                “I’d say that Thorin has already accepted our family’s pledge of protection on the girl.  She’s gonna need it since she’s being courted by Fili.”

                Balin chuckled as he realized how well his brother knew him and that his friend’s daughter would be well cared for by not only his family, but Thorin’s as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional Notes: This chapter was so hard for me to write as I had planned on Edraig's death...I hadn't expected it to happen to a former co-worker/friend while I was writing it... Like my friend...he went peacefully.


	10. Joyful Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: One more chapter after this one. I know this seems like it should be the epilogue, but I needed a bit of Happy Kili! Also, the last two chapters will be short. Sorry.

                The moment he saw the caravan arriving, Fili felt his heart bursting at the thought of not only having his family back together again but being able to see his love once more.  It’d been almost a year since he’d been able to look into her eyes, hear her laughter, or joke around with her and his brother.  He looked from face to face as everyone arrived and as soon as he saw her walking towards her he grabbed her and spun her around in a hug.

                “I have missed you so,” he whispered in her ear.  They didn’t want to let the other go, holding and cherishing the fact that they were together again.  When they finally pulled apart, Kili, Thorin, and Balin stepped up as Thorin expressed their sympathy at her loss.

                “Balin and Dwalin have offered to put you under their family’s protection till you marry.”  He smiled as she stared at Balin and the tears were forming in her eyes that he would do something like that.  “Do you accept their offer?”  Thorin asked as his sister, Bilbo, and Gandalf joined the group.

                Her eyes darted from Thorin to Kili, to Balin before finally resting on Fili, who only nodded; letting her now the offer was a true one.  Smiling at the kindness, he looked at both Balin and Thorin.  “Please know that I not only appreciate the offer, but accept it as well.”

                Kili watched as Balin escorted Dagmar to her quarters to get her settled in then turned his attention to his mom, Bilbo, and Gandalf.  Waiting patiently for Thorin and Fili to finish their greetings he took Dis’ hands into his own, leaning his forehead against her and whispered so only she could hear.  “I missed you so much.”

                She’d pulled away to stare at him for a moment.  The shock of hearing her son’s voice again brought the mother to tears as she leaned her forehead back against his.  The two shared the moment as she blessed for giving her son back his voice.

* * *

                The week since the Dwarves of the Blue Mountain had arrived had kept everyone busy with preparations for the official coronation of Thorin as King while the princes’ had been crowned in a ceremony the previous night.  Dwalin headed to Thorin’s chambers to give his final report on security for the ceremony and to discuss something a little more personal.  Knocking on the door, he walked in when Thorin bid him to enter.

                “Is everything ready for the ceremony?”  Thorin asked as his sister finished with his braids.

                “Everything is in order and should run smoothly.  Nervous?”

                Thorin confirmed that was indeed nervous with a simple nod of his head.  It was only when he truly looked at his old friend that he realized that he wasn’t the only one nervous and he had a feeling that it wasn’t about the ceremony.  Maybe the time had finally come?

                “You both know that I would never do anything to harm either of the princes’, right?”

                “Of course we do, Dwalin.”  Dis smiled knowingly as she motioned for him to sit in the chair next to the couch.  “The boys both adore you; although I think one may care more than the other.”

                Dwalin’s head snapped up as he was half seated on the chair.  “You both knew?”

                The siblings both nodded at him with twin smiles plastered on their faces.  It was Thorin, however, that leaned over to pat the warrior on his back.

                “We’ve had our suspicions till he came home smiling a little more than normal and finding any excuse to train or hunt with you,” Thorin spoke matter-of-factly to his friend.  “Then you started finding reason to spend time with him.  We knew it was only a matter of time before you came to us for official permission to court.”

                Dwalin let go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he leaned back in the chair.  “We do care for each other greatly and I promise that I will do everything in my power to keep him happy.  May I have your permission to court him?”

                Dis smiled at him as Thorin gave the warrior his permission, moving over to rest her hand on his hands as she looked into his eyes.  “There is no one I would rather see with Kili than you.”

* * *

                Kili was really starting to hate the ceremonial garb he had to wear as he walked next to his brother towards their uncle’s quarters.  The fabric was itchy and didn’t let him move easily, but he guessed that was the point.  Looking at Fili he chuckled at the thought that even his brother looked like he disliked them as he kept tugging at the collar of the shirt.

                “Just think,” Kili said as he reached for the door handle.  “This should be the last time we have to wear these blasted things till one of us gets married.”

                Fili just smiled as he walked in.  “I think we’re ready to get this over with,” he joked to the three occupants in the room.  The two heirs watched as Dwalin strode towards the youngest.

                “You and I have some things to discuss, care to join me for a walk after the feast tonight?”

                Kili could only smile and nod at the warrior’s request and the fire in his eyes.  Neither noticed the odd look the elder brother gave them as Dwalin excused himself.

                “What was that all about?”

                Kili only shrugged as he walked towards their mom and uncle with the goofiest grin on his face.  He sat in the chair that Dwalin had recently vacated and played with the leather bundle in his lap.  There was an inkling on what it was they needed to talk about, but till they did, he wouldn’t voice his theory.  It was only when Thorin asked, apparently the second time too, if he was even listening that he broke out of his own thoughts.  “Sorry, got a little lost in my own thoughts.  What were you saying?”

                “I was asking what that was,” Thorin chuckled as he pointed to the leather bundle in the brunet’s lap.

                “Oh, it’s a gift for you,” he said as he handed the bundle to Thorin.  They all watched as their king opened it and smiled at his nephew.

                “Is this what you’ve been working on?” He touched the sigil that had been worked in iron and then inlayed in oak.  When all his nephew did was nod, he turned it over and saw the inscription:

May your reign by blessed by Mahal.

May you rule with patience, understanding, and strength.

May your people know both peace and prosperity.

May you have the strength and courage to change foes to allies.

                Thorin leaned his forehead into Kili’s, moved beyond words at the thoughtfulness of the gift.  “Thank you so much.  I know exactly where this is going to go.”

* * *

                Kili walked the halls heading to where he promised to meet Dwalin.  His thoughts kept drifting back to the speech that Thorin had made after being crowned.

_“Our quest to reclaim our home started a year ago, but I don’t think anyone realized how much it would change those who took on the responsibility.  New friendships were formed,” he said as he looked towards Lord Elrond’s sons and to Aragorn, then to Tauriel, and finally to Bard.  “Old beliefs were challenged and new ones formed.  Above all, I came to realize what the greatest treasure in all of Middle Earth is, and I have a Hobbit to thank for opening my eyes with his questions.  To our children, you are the treasure of our future, may you always challenge us to keep looking forward to the future and learning from our past.”_

                He smiled as he turned the corner and found Dwalin waiting for him.  Neither spoke as they walked towards where Dwalin wanted to talk.  As they slipped through the wooded and heavily bushed coverage and into a small grotto, the young heir was in awe at the sight of a small waterfall that fell into a steaming pool.  The grasses that grew around it made it a very private and serene picture.

                “I thought you’d like it, my little chipmunk.”  He couldn’t help but laugh as his prince winced at the nickname.  “What you don’t like my nickname for you anymore?”

                “I’ve never like it,” Kili stated as they both sat down on the two large rocks by the pond.  “So what’s on your mind?”

                Dwalin smiled at him as his shone in the moonlight.  Since he’d started talking again and released a lot of the built up frustration, he was starting to get back to his old self.  “This whole situation that you went through has made me realize how much you mean to me, so today before you came in, I talked to your mom and uncle and they have given me permission to court you…that is if you’ll have me.”

                “Of course I’ll have you or did you actually forget how much I love you?”

                Dwalin chuckled as he shook his head and reached behind the rock he sat on and handed his One the leather bound journal that had both of their sigils burned into the cover.  He smiled as Kili’s hand danced over the cover and felt his heart fill with joy as the young Dwarf moved to straddle his lap.

                “I love it and your good timing as I just finished filling the last one up.”  Taking his lover’s face into his hands he kissed him with all he was worth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The grotto that Dwalin took Kili to is based off a small waterfall at the zoo.
> 
> [The Grotto](http://jadedmooneflowerz.tumblr.com/post/68159544526/fort-wayne-childrens-zoo-africa-experience)


	11. Remembrance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Last chapter! *CRIES* Sorry it’s so short…but I’m tempted to do a few one-shots based off this story. Any suggestions please send a message on my [tumblr](http://jadedmooneflowerz.tumblr.com/) page.

                Dwalin smiled as he arranged the training field, when his family told him that the heir had refused to even take his bow back from his brother he insisted on being put in charge of training and took the bow from the blond.  Hopefully he could bribe his young lover and was suddenly glad they were given slightly more privacy than most courting couples had.  When he had gotten the bow from Fili, Thorin had agreed to get the archer to the field.  Leaning against a tree, he watched as two forms walked and the shorter balked when he realized where his training was going to take place, the warrior was thankful that he was close enough to hear the argument.

                “Please uncle, any other training, but not this,” he implored and made to bolt till the taller Dwarf grabbed his arm.

                “Kili you agreed to do whatever training that I deemed fit to get you out of the trip to the Iron Hills with Balin and Ori.  This is the training both Dwalin and I chose.  If you refuse, feel free to go pack for tomorrow’s departure.”

                Dwalin watched as the youth’s shoulders slumped and he turned towards the field.  As he walked, he felt himself needing to prepare for his own battle with the boy.  He knew that he would do anything to stop this, but it would not prevent the inevitable that he had to at least try, nodding to Thorin as he walked towards the field.

                “Kili, I know you don’t really want to do this, but I refuse to let that monster win by taking this away from you.”  His fingers brushed a tear away from the brunet’s fear filled eyes.  “Don’t let your fear stop you from doing what you love.  Don’t you miss it?”

                Kili only sighed as he leaned against a nearby tree as he stared at his bow leaning by a target.  Deep down he knew he missed it, but the fear was too great to get him to try.  “I do, but I don’t know if I can.”

                Dwalin smiled at him and thought about how in the past month since Thorin’s coronation the carefree passion he once had showed started showing up a lot more.  He’d watched as his love talked to Bilbo and Tauriel about what’d happened, tried to get over his issues with being touched with him, and just enjoyed being with the others.  It was on those rare occasions that he pulled back into himself, that only lasted half a day at maximum, but someone always stayed by his side.  Everyone in the company was starting recognize the signs of those “attacks”.

                “I’ll tell you what, for every five arrows that actually hit the target,” he whispered into the brunet’s ear as his hand danced lightly over the shorter Dwarf’s crotch.  “I will do something very nice to you tonight.

                Kili moaned as his hips rolled into his warrior’s hand.  “You play dirty,” he hissed as he took the quiver and headed to pick up his bow.

                Taking his stance and notching the arrow, he heard the Goblin King’s laugh in his head.  After imagining the bastard’s face on the target, let the arrow go, and smiled proudly as it hit dead center.  The next two shots followed suit, but when he prepped for his fourth shot memories started to flash in his head.  His hands and arms shook as he saw the hammer swinging down to drive the long slender iron spikes into his arms.  Letting the shot go, the taunts rang in his ears. 

                He wasn’t going to let Dwalin or himself down, grabbing the fifth arrow he let it go as the memories flooded back.  He saw as he was stripped of his clothes and flogged by a vicious looking whip, the end of each tail tipped with a metal ball and a sharp spike.  As he fell into Dwalin’s arms, he heard the rants of the Goblin King and felt the sharp pain as the sickeningly sweet smelling liquid hit the open wounds.  He barely felt Dwalin run back inside or heard him order that his family be brought to his room.  He sobbed as he started to remember everything.

* * *

                Thorin and Fili sprinted down the corridors heading to where Bilbo had told them to go.  When the Hobbit found them heading into a meeting and informed them what happened when Dwalin ran into him and Bofur.  Fear gripped their hearts as they go into the youngest heir’s room.  What they saw nearly broke their hearts.  Kili was curled into Dwalin on the bed with his mother holding his hand from a chair that’d been pulled up to the side of the bed.  The young Dwarf looked at them; his eyes were red and filled with tears.

                “I remembered,” he murmured as he wiped the tears from his eyes.  “I was shooting and it all flooded back to me.”

                The two moved closer to the bed as he pulled the sleeve of his shirt up.  “They started by driving the long slim iron spikes trying to destroy my ability to shoot.”

                Dwalin grinned as he squeezed the archer’s shoulder when he tried to gain the courage to keep going with his story.  “He didn’t succeed at that.  Even with the memories coming back to him and not having fired an arrow since before the torture, he hit the bull's-eye with the five shots he’d done.”

                Biting his lip, Kili moved away from his lover and pulled off his shirt as he stood.  “I know you didn’t get to see how bad this was, but that whip drawing I showed you in my journal over a month ago did this.”  Turning around, he tried not to crumple back into tears as they all gasped at the scars on his back.  Even those few times he’d been intimate with Dwalin, he’d managed to keep his shirt on.  He didn’t want anyone to see the scars.

                “Kee?”  Fili moved closer and everyone heard the shaking in his voice as he asked, “did that bastard brand you?”

                Kili just turned around and nodded.  “He was taking great pleasure in trying to break me.  All this over an archer who killed his son before any of us or our parents were born.

                Sitting back on the bed his fingers picked at the blanket.  “Most of what he did was taunt me, whip me, and generally beat me into a bloody mess.  I guess he really did break me if I closed myself up as the two things that hurt the most were the shackles with how they slowly ripped my skin and this liquid that was dripped on my back during the whipping.”

                Everyone had paled as they remembered the stories of the green acidic liquid.  It was apparently a byproduct of an unusual plant found in the caves of Goblin Town and used mainly in torture with how it kept the wounds from closing.  If Bilbo and Gandalf hadn’t gotten him out, the wounds cleaned, and healing herbs applied when they did they could’ve lost him to blood loss.

                Kili looked at them and knew that the path was going to be a long one; he was definitely on the right path with remembering.  He was going to keep talking about the events that had happened, and now for the biggest step.  He pulled everyone close to him and into a big family hug.

* * *

EPILOGUE

                Kili stood in the doorway of the nursery watching as his husband tucked their six month old daughter into the crib that sat next to his brother’s son’s crib.  He couldn’t believe all that had happened in the three years since he remembered what had happened in the Goblin Town.  He and his brother grew even closer, if that was even possible, and each married the loves of their lives in a double ceremony.  He chuckled as he remembered the company’s faces when they announced that they were even courting.  When Thorin’s council had suggested a surrogate for a child of their own, it took some serious convincing of the newly married couple, but it was Balin who had talked them into it by stating what good parents they’d both be and that he wanted to be an uncle.

                “Something funny,” Dwalin asked as he brought his arms around the slender waist of his husband.

                Kili smiled and shook his head as he pulled his warrior back to their room.  “Just thinking how blessed I’ve been these past three years, and how it’s been far too long since you had your way with your husband.”

                Dwalin chuckled at him and blessed Mahal at how well his chipmunk’s recovery was still going.  There had been more good days than bad days.  Leaning in, he nuzzled along the short beard as they removed their clothes.  “I just had my way with you not even an hour ago!”

                “That’s far too long,” he moaned as his arms were pinned to the bed.  “Or are you getting too old to keep up with your young husband?”

                Kili moaned as Dwalin took the opportunity to show how much he could keep up with him.  A few hours later, as they rested, they both realized exactly how lucky they were.

THE END!


End file.
